Ticketing is a rather complex science, which is fraught with a number of features. The main subtlety is that the rules of etiquette do not always make absolute sense. It all depends on the place, time and circumstances. Having comprehended these rules, each person will be able to avoid awkward situations.
A review article on the topic of etiquette rules will give a general idea of this concept. We will help you navigate different life circumstances when you need to show your best qualities in communication and behavior.
Etiquette concept
The historical roots of the very concept of “etiquette” lead to France. In a general sense, this term denotes a set of requirements assigned to a particular culture that are presented to human behavior in each individual situation.
According to the dictionary interpretation, etiquette- these are generally accepted rules of behavior in society, established forms treatment. The practical essence of etiquette is that it allows people to use ready-made rules behavior, manners and forms communication with different people.
First rule of etiquette
For over 40 years, World Greetings Day has been celebrated annually. It is not without reason that this event receives such attention. The point is that greetings- this is the first rule of etiquette.
If communication takes place face to face, then you cannot do without a smile. The first impression leaves a deep impression, and there may not be another time to correct your opinion about yourself. Since ancient times, evading greetings has been considered a clear example of bad manners.
Communication etiquette
Etiquette is a tool that allows you to achieve what you want from communicating with loved ones, friends or colleagues. To do this, you need to understand certain rules and use them in practice.
Any communication should begin with a polite greeting and competent address. Even if the conversation is tiring or uninteresting, you need to show attention to the interlocutor. In this case, you will gain his favor and save pleasant impression about myself.
Details speech etiquette We have outlined it in detail in, let’s just add a few more words about a concept that is relevant today - the rules of talking on the phone.
Telephone etiquette
Even the shortest conversation on the phone should be conducted in accordance with generally accepted rules of etiquette, be it of a business or domestic nature. Today, almost everyone has a mobile phone. Therefore, the culture of telephone communication lives and develops with the times.
Communication has always brought people together, even if it's just a phone conversation. Such a conversation should fit within the framework telephone etiquette. It is important not to forget the words of greeting and farewell, to be able to clearly express thoughts and stop in time, giving the floor to your interlocutor.
Etiquette norms are studied from school and throughout life. Companies that care about their reputation even conduct special training employees dedicated to telephone communication. When carrying out business negotiations, not only the personal authority of the speaker is at stake, but also the image of the organization.
Rules of conduct
A person does not go beyond the sociocultural space throughout his life. Thanks to the installed rules of conduct, he maintains normal relationships with others. This is important for every educated person.
Mutual respect can be earned by adhering to the rules of politeness. Non-conflict people show restraint and do not allow harshness and rudeness in their behavior. They try to avoid even the slightest conflicts and absurd situations, using the basics of etiquette science every day.
True benevolence, unselfishness, sensitivity, politeness and tact are the main qualities of a person on which good behavior is built. They are important at all stages of communication and relationships. Such qualities will allow you to comfort heartache, smooth out the offense and prevent grief at all.
Good manners
Mastering good manners enriches a person's spiritual beauty. They are directly related to proper upbringing. Such manners are manifested in gait, clothing, facial expressions, intonation, actions, and treatment of people.
A cultured person must be able to behave with restraint, modestly, tactfully and attentively towards others. He must be responsible for his words and actions. These are the key qualities on which good manners are built. And they, in turn, are regulated by etiquette. This is their subtle connection.
At one time, Goethe compared a person’s manners to a mirror reflecting his portrait. These words have not lost their meaning and relevance in modern world. People around them notice everything, they judge a person by their behavior, which sometimes reveals more than they would like. To be at your best, you need to keep an eye on your manners.
Table etiquette
When going to a gala event or a family dinner, a romantic date in a cafe or a business meeting in a restaurant, it is important not to forget about good manners and table etiquette rules. A cultured person should know them so as not to lose face.
Table etiquette is determined by a number of features and national traditions, but we must at least remember the generally accepted rules. The culture of behavior at the table seriously affects the impression of a person. The inability to eat, take food or drink correctly can turn you away from communicating with such a person.
Modern table etiquette rules are available to everyone. They reveal the purpose and use of serving items and regulate norms of behavior during meals. Mastery of this difficult science will allow you to feel much more confident at any table.
Etiquette at a party
It may seem that being a guest is easy and fun. In fact, to become a welcome guest, you need to be able to behave beautifully, that is, to respect guest etiquette. Every educated person should learn its instructions and subtleties. It is not for nothing that the term “persona non grata” is widely used, which literally means an unwanted guest.
You need to be able to come at the right time, with good mood, not empty hands. You also need to leave on time, with gratitude for the invitation and warm welcome. It is important to be able to behave with dignity in any environment and company.
Norms and rules of etiquette
The norms and rules of etiquette have been honed over centuries. Changes are being made to them different peoples who honor their national and cultural traditions. Despite this, there are generally accepted guidelines for behavior and communication between people.
Every well-mannered person sets himself the task of not only becoming familiar with the rules and norms of etiquette, but also trying to follow them. This is an important component of an individual's internal culture.
Basic rules of etiquette
The treasury of etiquette rules never ceases to be filled with the development of society. In it you can find norms and rules of conduct for all occasions. Every self-respecting person should know at least the basic ones. In this article we give only an overview of the concept of “rules of etiquette”, specific examples you can easily find it online.
Following key ethical rules simplifies interactions and generally makes life in society easier. Compliance with them allows a person to show his good manners and education.
Rules of good etiquette
Following the rules of decency does not at all mean that someone should dance to someone else’s tune. A person who truly respects himself and others will try to adhere to rules good etiquette so as not to cause inconvenience to yourself and other people. To do this, it is enough to master simple and useful rules good manners. Then not only your personal life, but also the surrounding reality will become more beautiful and kinder.
Applying good etiquette is guaranteed success. They will help you quickly establish good contact, call correct reaction and generally feel confident.
Rules of etiquette in society
A person, being a social being, must behave in society with dignity, guided by the rules of etiquette. They are aimed at making behavior natural and not feigned.
Sincere feelings have always been valuable. To express them, every member of society must strive for self-improvement. Inner harmony of a person is achieved by combining high morality with exemplary manners, which arise from the rules of etiquette in society.
Etiquette for girls, men, children
Today, we rarely remember the times of chivalry and how nobly real heroes treated women. Where can you find such gentlemen now? You can only see them on the silver screen rather than meet them in real life. Real ladies are also rare today. A girl with refined manners is a rare guest in our area.
The fact is that the weaker sex today communicates with men on equal terms. And representatives of the stronger sex are afraid or do not know how to demonstrate their gallantry. Gender differences are disappearing, but the rules of etiquette for today's girls and men are no less relevant than in ancient times.
The subtleties of graceful manners are important not only for adults, but also for children. They will help convey the correct model of behavior in society. The child will be able to communicate without difficulty with peers, family and strangers. Having mastered the rules of good manners, children will learn to behave at school, at the table, and in the cinema. Their social adaptation to adulthood will occur painlessly.
Office etiquette
Office etiquette is a set of appropriate rules established in work groups in order to determine the behavior of employees. These rules correspond to moral and moral principles. Compliance with the prescribed requirements must be mandatory for both managers and subordinates.
Rules of office etiquette have important to maintain a normal working climate and increase labor productivity. Their implementation is of fundamental importance for stable and fruitful cooperation with clients and partners.
Office etiquette prescribes requirements for behavior not only within one’s team, but also when collaborating with external entities. When maintaining business communication with foreign partners, you need to know their rules of etiquette, traditions and customs. Only such relationships can become long-term beneficial for both parties.
We told in general outline about the rules of etiquette and the components of this concept for different aspects of human life. Details of good manners in different circumstances It is appropriate to consider separately, in detail, for each situation. It is impossible to reflect the rules of behavior in all their subtleties in one material. Therefore, we consider this article to be a starting point into the world of etiquette and will use it as content for subsequent articles on this topic.
IN modern society It is important to have good manners and be able to behave correctly in different life situations. Etiquette has many features and is a complex science. The main subtlety is that there are no clearly defined norms of behavior; everything depends on the circumstances, time and place. The rules of etiquette between a man and a girl will make communication more pleasant, and good manners will help psychological impact on a partner.
What are the rules of etiquette
The concept comes from the French word “etiquette”, which means a set of generally accepted rules of behavior, knowledge of the basics of politeness. There are several main types of etiquette:
- the ability to present oneself: the formation of a wardrobe, grooming, physical fitness, gestures, postures, posture;
- speech form: ability to give compliments, greetings, gratitude, manner of speech;
- table etiquette: ability to eat, knowledge of serving standards, table manners;
- behavior in society: how to behave in an office, store, exhibition, museum, restaurant, theater, court;
- business etiquette: relationships with superiors, colleagues, business negotiations.
Rules of good manners for men
If a representative of the stronger sex values his reputation in society, he will always observe moderation in clothing. Shorts and T-shirts are appropriate for a family dinner or during a country vacation. For an informal setting, sports or classic clothes are suitable, and for business meetings Tie and jacket required. As for good manners, well-mannered man It won’t be difficult to politely nod in response to a greeting even from a stranger. How to communicate with a woman, superiors, and relatives will be discussed below.
Modern etiquette for women
The first rule for a woman is tact in all situations. Etiquette lessons involve behaving respectfully with everyone, be it your neighbor, your business partner, or your front door cleaner. If a woman likes to joke, then she should clearly determine in what situation you can allow a joke, and with whom you need to be serious. It is necessary to observe a culture of communication with the opposite sex. You should not flirt, make advances or make eyes at men you don’t know or know – this is a violation of etiquette. Politeness presupposes simple communication without intrigue, gossip and rumors.
Etiquette standards for children
Rules of behavior in society also exist for children. Future success, career, and environment will depend on the knowledge that a child receives in childhood. The most simple techniques mastering the rules of etiquette is reading fairy tales, watching cartoons, using board games on this topic, humming songs. The basic rule of politeness for a child is respect for all adults, children, and animals without exception. Everything else flows smoothly from this.
How to behave in society
Basic set of etiquette rules for men and women:
- Don't come to visit without calling. Only if you are visited without warning can you afford to meet a person in home clothes.
- Do not place your bag on a chair or on your lap. A bulky backpack can be hung on the back of a chair. A purse or small handbag is placed on the table, and if a man carries a briefcase, then it should be left on the floor.
- When meeting someone, say your name first if you are going to communicate with a group of people. Only the right hand should be served.
- The passenger must sit in the back seat of the car. The most prestigious seat is the one located behind the driver.
In communication with people
A typical day for modern man includes many situations in which culture of behavior and demeanor are tested: communication in stores, in public transport, getting to know colleagues, rules of speech etiquette at official receptions, etc. As for the first meeting with a person, the impression is created on how well the interlocutor knows how to introduce himself. In everyday etiquette, younger people or men make acquaintances first. To make a good impression, you should always start your conversation with a smile.
How a girl should behave with a guy
Modern etiquette for girls requires knowledge of the basic rules of behavior with the opposite sex. When meeting a man for the first time, you should not throw yourself on his neck; it would be appropriate to simply extend your hand. On a date, you need to act lightly and casually, joke and smile, but not be offended. You can’t help but tell a man about your shortcomings or unsuccessful relationship experiences at the first meeting. There is no need to shout about the advantages either; you can mention them, but in passing.
Basic Etiquette
The rules of cultural behavior are simple: a culture of speech that has a stylistic and grammatical orientation, well-groomed appearance, attentiveness towards the interlocutor, the ability to provide a service to someone in need, to listen to the speaker. The norm of acquaintance and subsequent communication is conditional, therefore it has the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted and what is not. Every cultured person should know and follow the rules of etiquette, understanding their necessity for society.
Good manners
A well-mannered person is immediately distinguished from the crowd. He is distinguished by knowledge of etiquette and a certain manner of behavior: voice intonation, expressions used in speech, gait, facial expressions, gestures. This is restraint, modesty, the ability to control emotions, actions, words. To correspond to the concept of a secular, educated person, you need to know and follow certain rules that are considered mandatory in a decent society:
- when greeting, the woman is the first to offer her hand to the man;
- men greet everyone without exception while standing;
- when introducing a guest to other people (during acquaintance), they call his name, surname, patronymic (during business communication– profession);
- visiting people does not bring a bad mood, and if they are present negative emotions, then the visit should be abandoned;
- Children should not be allowed to interfere in the conversation of adults, interrupt elders, or whisper in the ear;
- No comments are made to other people's children in the presence of their parents;
- When giving gifts to people, tact should be observed, taking into account gender, age, and profession.
Dressing skills
The rules of etiquette oblige not only to know the correct manner of greeting acquaintances and strangers, be able to maintain small talk and adhere to decorum in behavior, but also correctly wear clothes appropriate for the occasion. Nothing catches the eye like colorful things. Things that are inappropriate for a man include embroidered shirts, vulgar suits, and too bright ties. Business clothes should be moderately fashionable. In the morning you are allowed to wear a jacket, frock coat or suit jacket. The color should correspond to the season: light in summer, dark in winter.
The ability to dress tastefully is the first sign of a woman’s upbringing. The Encyclopedia of Etiquette contains a range of rules related to clothing, the observance of which distinguishes a real lady. Women's clothing must be consistent with the nature of the work. An image that is acceptable in a model house will not be acceptable in a brokerage office. A business lady is not suitable for a business lunch or conference short skirt or a low-necked blouse. If the meeting is at a resort hotel or club, you need to take several outfits that will be suitable for different situations.
How to present yourself correctly
A few more generally accepted norms of etiquette:
- you need to walk with a straight posture, a tucked stomach and straight shoulders;
- communication norms regarding greetings include polite words, but they are not always correct, for example, “good afternoon” should not be said to a person with an upset face;
- even unknown men must help ladies enter the premises by holding the front door;
- the word “please” should be used with any request;
- Before saying goodbye to your interlocutor, you should first prepare for this: “Unfortunately, it’s too late,” and then say words of gratitude or a compliment (if it’s a woman).
Rules of etiquette when communicating
The rules of etiquette must be observed when communicating between women and men. The male representative should follow to the left of the companion and be the first to enter the restaurant. If a lady greets acquaintances, the gentleman should also greet them, even if the people are strangers to him. Without a woman's approval, a man has no right to touch her. Allowed only in moments of assistance (getting into a car, crossing the road). Smoking in the presence of another person, regardless of gender, is possible only with the permission of the interlocutor.
There are certain rules of speech behavior. So, if you are insulted in the presence of other people, you should not succumb to provocations. Get up and leave the scene. You cannot ask your interlocutor for information about his material well-being, love affairs and other personal things. If you invite a business partner to a meeting, do not forget about punctuality. Particular respect should be shown to people who have shown generosity or come to your aid in difficult moment– they were not obliged to do this.
Conversational etiquette
Rules of politeness exist in any conversation. Speech behavior is divided into written and oral forms, with the former having more stringent rules. There are several types of conversations: business, official, informal. The oral form has more simple rules, for example, instead of a verbal greeting, you can get by with a nod of the head. The ability to speak politely is to tell your interlocutor only those things that you yourself would like to hear. The basic principles of conversation are correctness, brevity, accuracy, appropriateness.
How to communicate with someone on the phone
Compliance with the rules of netiquette should also be observed when communicating on the phone. During the conversation, you need to carefully monitor your intonation, since the interlocutor does not see your face and may misunderstand the meaning of the message. You should not keep the person calling; the maximum time to pick up the phone is six rings. There is no need to rush to the phone either - it is better to answer after the third ring. It is customary to call the interlocutor by name if he is familiar. If not, then it is advisable to introduce yourself first.
Good manners and business etiquette
The basic norms of behavior include the rules of business communication. But not only the speech component is important when contacting partners, body language also plays an important role. For example, when talking, you should not spread your legs wide, keep your hands in your pockets, or hunch over. Excessive gestures are also not encouraged - in order not to embarrass the interlocutor, gestures should be restrained. Pay attention to the person’s personal space – the distance should not be smaller size outstretched arm.
Household etiquette rules
Family members should be especially polite to each other. To maintain a warm relationship, you need to constantly monitor the psychological climate, sincerely rejoice in the successes of loved ones, not resort to insults during quarrels, use the words “sorry”, “thank you”, “ Good morning"and others. It is necessary to respect the older generation and not read the personal notes of your children without permission.
How to behave at the table
The main rule of behavior at the table is that you cannot chew with your mouth open. Talking is also undesirable, especially when chewing food. Before you put some of the common dish on your plate, you must first offer it to the rest of those present. You should not serve your own plate first, but give the opportunity to guests or older family members to do so. When setting the table, common cutlery is placed next to each dish. The soup must be served in special bowls from the person sitting to the right.
Etiquette at a party
Receive friends and visit them - good practice etiquette form of dating. Dinner is considered the best time for a reception, but people should be invited in advance so that they can adjust their plans. The dress code may be informal. According to etiquette, an unfamiliar guest is called everyone present by name only after his own introduction. IN friendly company You can skip serving the main course, but this is unacceptable for a business dinner. It is important to know how to use cutlery different types, even if the owners of other national traditions.
Video
Modern rules of etiquette are practically no different from the rules of etiquette of past centuries. The pace and way of modern life have made some adjustments.
Of the general rules, we can highlight ten of the most relevant and necessary ones for a decent person to follow.
The first rule of etiquette: polite attitude
As the first rule, we can highlight a polite attitude towards people around us. Acquaintances, nearest and dearest, or complete strangers. And it doesn’t matter where exactly the person is: in a store, public transport, on the street, at work, at home. Always and everywhere you must be able to politely address others.
Second rule of etiquette: greeting
The second rule states that those entering the room must greet first. Whoever it is: a boss, an academician, a president, a simple passer-by, a child. The words of greeting should come from the person entering.
It should be noted that if a companion greets a stranger, the couple should also say words of greeting. 
The third rule of etiquette: gratitude
People often forget to say words of gratitude to their closest relatives, loved ones and friends. Taking everything that happens for granted. After all, their care and love is not forced, but from the heart. The third rule of modern etiquette is the word thank you.
The fourth rule of etiquette: decent behavior in public places
When in public places, you should not laugh very loudly. Screaming and judging other people, while pointing fingers. 
Fifth rule of etiquette: for drivers
Very often, drivers forget about the rules of decent behavior on the road. You cannot rush through puddles and mud, splashing pedestrians. Slow down, please.
The sixth rule of etiquette: cleanliness and fashion
While in public places, and even at home, a person must take care of personal hygiene. Dress in clean, neat clothes. Wear clean shoes. And you shouldn’t blindly follow fashion. It is better to dress not only fashionably, but beautifully and neatly. 
The seventh rule of etiquette: unexpected guests
You cannot visit without an invitation. Be sure to notify us in advance of your visit.
Eighth rule of etiquette: smartphone and other people's SMS
When visiting, at a meeting, in a cafe or restaurant, you should never keep your smartphone on the table. This is a manifestation of complete disrespect for the interlocutor. And this means that virtual communication is more important than live communication.
Rummaging through someone else's phone or pockets in order to read SMS or simple correspondence is extremely impolite and ugly towards a person. This rule applies to both parents in relation to children and spouses.
The ninth rule of etiquette: responding to an insult
Now everyone has a lot of problems and worries. People try to throw all their anger and hatred at others. When faced with rudeness and insult, you just need to smile and move away, leaving the offender with all his anger. Don’t stoop to raising your voice and insulting them in response.
Tenth rule of etiquette: the habit of knocking on a closed door
Parents, as soon as the baby begins to live in a separate room, need to develop the habit of knocking before entering the nursery. Then the children will knock on their parents' bedroom door.
This is not the entire list of rules of modern etiquette, but by adhering to at least these ten, a person can win everyone’s respect. And be called with dignity a cultured and educated member of society.
Respect each other and respect each other again! This is what we learn throughout our lives. Being well-mannered means not causing inconvenience to other people, not offending anyone with your comments and looking decent in any situation.
Now I'll tell you about violations of modern etiquette, which few people know. It's definitely worth checking yourself out!
Rules of etiquette in society
Gross violations
- You're clapping incorrectly
You need to clap your hands at chest level. Never applaud in front of your own face, much less in front of another person's face. - You get into the car ungracefully
First, sit on the seat and only then gracefully place your feet in the cabin. This looks more aesthetically pleasing from the outside and will help you avoid a painful and awkward hit to your head on a car doorway. If your shoes are covered in snow, be sure to shake them off before getting into the cabin.
- You embarrass strangers
You should not look closely at other people, this is bad manners. Moreover, you should not discuss the appearance of strangers with your friend, even if the outfit is really flashy. - You spread butter or jam from a shared plate
The sequence of actions is as follows: first put a little butter or jam on your plate. Then spread the sandwich! That's it. Why is this considered more acceptable and correct? Because the crumbs don't end up on the common plate!
- You don't care about those sitting next to you at the table
Polite people don’t want to bother someone too much during a meal, and they can also be quite shy. Take the initiative and pass the salt or pepper shaker first! In the same way, pass on other dishes first, politely asking if your neighbor would like to try them.
- You don't watch your posture
You probably haven’t thought about it, but looking at a person hunched over a plate at the table is always unpleasant. Keep your back straight in any situation and train yourself to follow this! Posture, it turns out, tells people a lot... - You drink during a toast in your honor
You shouldn’t drink a glass after words spoken in your honor! Instead, make a gesture of gratitude towards the person giving the toast, thereby showing respect and appreciation. Few people know about this!
- You're careless with napkins
After eating, you should not wipe your lips with a napkin: you just need to blot your mouth with it. Already used paper napkins can be slightly crumpled, but under no circumstances crumpled! Table etiquette rules decorate the feast, making it relaxed, helping to avoid awkwardness. - You return empty plates
If you are treated to food and given a dish in a plate, it is considered impolite to return it empty. Place cookies, a handful of sweets, nuts there - everything as a sign of gratitude for the treat.
- You start eating before the owner of the table
Rules of good etiquette They say that you need to respect the head of the family and home. Wait until the owner starts eating first. That's all wisdom! - You cough into your right hand
If you are unwell or choking, you may feel the urge to clear your throat. You cannot use your right hand to cover your mouth; this should be done exclusively with your left hand. - You don't make eye contact while toasting
When you touch your interlocutor’s glass with your glass, you must meet his gaze, expressing your openness and sincerity! Looking away is bad form.
- You point your finger at an object that interests you
Pointing fingers is the last thing. It is much better to make a gesture with an open palm in the direction to which you want to attract the attention of the interlocutor. - You're not polite enough
If you are walking along the street with someone and your companion says hello to a person passing by, be sure to say hello. IN in this case to remain silent means to appear impolite and repulsive.
- You carry a bag on your right shoulder
According to the rules of etiquette, the bag should be worn on the left shoulder, not on the right. The whole point is that the right hand is “social”, which is why you cannot cover yourself with it when you cough. Even if you are a woman and do not shake hands, your right hand is considered contact.
- You leave your smartphone on a table in a public place
Of course it's disrespectful! This is especially unpleasant for those with whom you are sitting next to at a table in a cafe or at dining table. This shows how significant the gadget is to you and how little you care about what's going on around you.
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"Greetings
Greeting is the most common custom in our everyday life, requiring a great sense of tact, good manners and friendliness.
Any conversation begins with a greeting; there are many forms of greeting, and each form has its own origin.
How to greet?
Who greets first?
Who and where to greet?
The general rule of greeting when meeting: the younger ones greet the elders first, the men greet the women first, exceptions to this rule: the one who enters the room, be it a man or a woman, is the first to greet those present, the one leaving is the first to say goodbye to those remaining.
If there are several people in the room, they greet first the mistress of the house, then other women, then the owner and other men.
When greeting a man, the woman offers her hand first. If she limits herself to bowing, then the man should not extend his hand to her. The same thing happens between older and younger men.
Men always stand (with the exception of the very elderly and sick who find it difficult to rise), greeting both women and men.
A woman does not stand up when greeting a man; greeting the woman, he stands up. Exceptions: the mistress of the house, when receiving guests, always stands up to greet them; women also stand up to greet very elderly men.
After greeting his peer, the man can sit down. If he greets an older man or woman, he should sit down only after they sit down, or with their permission. If the mistress of the house offers to sit down, but she continues to stand, you should not sit down.
It was not customary (and even now most people continue to refrain from doing so) to say hello and goodbye across the threshold, across the table, or through any partition.
However, in recent years even really high level leaders of countries or governments shook hands across a table or some kind of barrier. The chiefs of the protocol departments of the foreign ministries refrain from commenting on this matter.
Who greets whom first under “equal conditions” (age, gender, social status)? To answer this question, perhaps we should recall the clause in the French military regulations, which states that among officers of equal rank, when meeting, the more well-mannered one greets first. In fact, that's the only thing the right decision issue not only for the military, but also for civilians.
Not accepting the hand extended to you means inflicting a grave insult on the one who offered it: this is done only in relation to persons who are considered either extremely unworthy or extremely hostile.
If you are wearing gloves, then when greeting, you need to take off the glove, the exception is for women who greet men: they do not take off the glove.
Naturally, women’s hands are not kissed in such cases. The custom of kissing women's hands is more widespread in the West than here. It is preserved in cases where, depending on certain circumstances (anniversary, awards, etc.), they want to emphasize special respect and affection for a woman.
The kiss should be “symbolic”, expressed in a completely light touch of the lips on the hand. Juicy "smacking" is considered vulgar. Both in the West and here they don’t kiss girls’ hands. It is also not customary to kiss a hand when meeting on the street. During receptions, guests only kiss the hand of the hostess.
Introduction when meeting
As a general rule, you should always introduce people you know to each other if they approach you while you are talking to someone and if those you are talking to do not know them.
Presentation order: First you name the one who is younger in age (if the age is the same - by position, if the position is equal - the one who comes up), introducing him to the older one, and then you introduce the older one to the younger one.
If a man and a woman are introduced, they introduce the man first, then the woman. To do the opposite is considered very incorrect.
Exception: If a young woman is introduced to a very old man, the woman is introduced first.
When presented they are called: first name, patronymic, last name, sometimes - if required - a short indication of social status(engineer, doctor, teacher, etc.). Naturally, when meeting a very famous people- writers, artists, scientists, etc. - this addition is omitted: it would show that you consider the person to whom you are introducing the “celebrity” to be a very ignorant person.
If you want to meet someone present during meetings, exhibitions, or other ceremonies, it is better if you are introduced to that person by someone who knows both you and the person you want to meet. If there are no such people, then you are allowed to introduce yourself, but this can only be done in exceptional cases, the importance of which would justify such a departure from etiquette, with the obligatory observance of the necessary “distances” (for example, it would be immodest for an ordinary engineer to introduce himself to the minister, etc. .), so as not to risk encountering even very polite bewilderment.
However, self-representations are permitted in practice. In such cases, you should first apologize, then, having identified yourself, indicate your position or profession and, if the attitude towards you is favorable, briefly state the reason that made you ask for a few minutes.
When you are asked to introduce someone you know, then in many cases (except for those in which you have absolutely no doubt) it is better to first find out the attitude of the person you want to meet to this proposed acquaintance; such a procedure will protect you from possible reproaches and discontent from those who did not at all want to acquire these acquaintances.
You are visiting and you have guests
First of all - general rule: people go on a visit only by invitation, even if they say to you: “We are always glad to see you” or - moreover: “You are always a welcome guest”, elementary politeness requires that the day and time of your visit to acquaintances or friends be agreed upon in advance with them, exceptions to this rule can only be allowed in relation to close relatives and very large “bosom” friends. But it is also necessary to observe tact in relation to them and, if a meeting is desirable or necessary, try to warn about it in advance.
You also cannot bring your friends, acquaintances, or children to visit without prior agreement. They don’t take their “four-legged friends” with them when visiting. Hosts, in turn, should spare guests from the presence of their pets - not everyone likes it when a dog sniffs them or licks their hands or a cat climbs onto their lap or shoulder.
You need to come to visit as close as possible to the agreed time: come earlier - the hostess does not have everything ready, and she herself is not yet dressed for receiving guests; come later - everything may get cold, burnt, etc., and her pleasure the guests' food will be ruined.
You don’t bring your bad mood to visit if you know that you are the only one or the most desirable among other guests and if due to some exceptional circumstances, anything can happen! - hopelessly depressed, bad mood - it is better to call or come to those who invited you 15 minutes before the appointed time, explain the situation and apologize to those who invited you for the inability to accept their invitation for that day. They will understand you, because most people, when receiving guests or going on a visit, do not expect and give preference to a rich and tasty table, but are looking for an interesting conversation, a lively exchange of opinions, human warmth and friendship.
Good custom- when coming to visit, bring flowers, which the hostess should place in a visible place. Less often they bring small gifts - a book, a toy for children, etc.
The issue of children when receiving guests is very important. You can bring children with you to visit only by agreement with the inviters. On the other hand, when receiving guests in the presence of your children, you need to be aware that your, perhaps legitimate, admiration for their talents should not necessarily be shared by the guests. Therefore, there are fewer stories about their abilities, and even less demonstrations of them.
If your child is naughty or does something wrong in front of guests, do not punish him in front of them. Without noise and abuse, he must be removed, without including guests in the process of education (the latter is permissible only in cases of very close acquaintance and friendship between families).
You should not allow children to interfere in the conversation, interrupt elders, whisper something “secretly” in your ear, or pester guests with questions or their stories if they are not invited to do so.
When you come to visit your children, do not allow them to run around the apartment without permission, climb with their feet on the sofa, armchairs (you need to wean them off this at home), open drawers, rearrange things, etc.
Other people's children should not be reprimanded in front of their parents.
A polite guest “does not notice” what may be unpleasant to him, what may seem wrong in the behavior of the hosts. He does not interfere in disagreements that may arise between them, and does not take the side of any of them. In turn, tactful, polite hosts do not invite guests to be arbiters in their affairs.
Invitations to guests should be made at least a week before the meeting: everyone may be busy, everyone’s time may be “scheduled” many days in advance, and you should not be offended if your invitation is politely answered that “unfortunately” for one reason or another, it cannot be accepted on the day you proposed.
Of course, you should not invite people at the same time that you know do not like each other. If you do not know about the nature of the relationship between those invited, it is better to inform each of them about who they are going to meet.
Verbal invitations (at work, at a meeting in the theater, etc.) should not be made in the presence of other people you know whom you do not invite. You should also not talk about the “wonderful evening” you spent with one of your mutual friends, in the presence of those who also know the hosts of this “wonderful evening”, but were not invited to it.
Conversations when receiving guests should be tried to be general, to maintain the atmosphere of participation of all invitees, but no one should be forcibly “drawn” into the conversation.
The host needs to be prepared to play the role of “chairman of the meeting”: if you notice that among the invitees there is a danger of talking about a topic that is obviously undesirable for anyone, you need to try to give the conversation a different direction. You can’t give ready-made recipes here - it’s a matter of your tact and experience.
You should not support or develop unfavorable reviews about absent mutual acquaintances. You should try to stop such conversations at the very beginning of their occurrence with some joke or distracting remark.
With my wife when invited - no arguments, no sugary tenderness. Do not exchange a “understanding” look with her in case of any awkwardness or mistake made by any of the invitees. Do not exchange remarks on foreign language, if the guest does not know him, this is especially offensive for him: everyone knows that “secular people” acted this way in front of their servants, so as not to be understood by them.
PRESENT
The custom, widespread throughout the world, of giving gifts to each other on various occasions, is beautiful in its human essence: to bring joy, pleasure to another, to bring him some benefit or help.
However, this is why the choice of gifts must be treated with great attention and tact, otherwise, instead of joy and pleasure, you can cause the person who received the gift from you to feel uneasy. best case scenario bewilderment or annoyance. After all, you need to remember that in most cases gifts are symbolic or utilitarian in nature, so if you give a woman a bottle of alcohol and an old man heavy dumbbells, this will be perceived as a mockery. Of course, this is an extreme example of the tactlessness of giving gifts, but remember, have you ever witnessed when the recipient of a gift has a puzzled look on his face, meaning: “What should I do with this?”
It is relatively easier to give gifts to people whose tastes, habits, inclinations or needs you know well. In these cases, you can rarely make a mistake, and it’s all about your material capabilities. BUT how can you guess the tastes, inclinations, and needs of people you don’t know well? Here the main role should be played by your observation in relation to those to whom you want to give something. You need to take care in advance to draw conclusions about their hobbies and lifestyle based on individual statements and comments. You can get some information about this from their good friends (of course, not by asking, but by fragmentary remarks, remarks, etc.). You can’t just ask those to whom the gift is intended what they would like to receive. Such questions are allowed only in relation to children, and even then only of preschool age.
The worst thing when choosing a gift is to focus on your own taste: it can be very far from the taste of the person you want to please.
They say that books and flowers are unmistakably good gifts. However, when making these gifts, you need to be tactful and be sure to take into account the age, gender, profession, etc. of the person receiving the gifts. In the West (and here too) married man A woman does not give flowers to a girl, nor does a woman give flowers to a man. As for books, we can advise: firstly, you should not give books whose contents are unknown to you, and secondly, the nature of the books should also be correlated with the individual data of the gift recipient (gender, age, interests, etc.).
You should not give very expensive gifts to your acquaintances - they put the recipients in an awkward position: after all, it is customary for “ordinary acquaintances” to respond to gifts with approximately the same response, and not everyone has the opportunity to give an expensive gift.
You should first remove (if possible) the price indicator from the gifts you bring - they are undesirable in all cases.
All gifts (except flowers) are given or sent closed.
When a gift is given in person, the recipient must reveal it in the presence of the giver, unless someone (not a family member of the giver or recipient) who has not made the gift is present.
When receiving any gift, they are grateful for it, even in cases of disappointment or annoyance.
If the gift given to you is household item, in the future, do not miss the opportunity when meeting with the giver to show that you are using it: by doing this you will give him great fun, and this, in turn, is a good gift (not excluding, however, expressions and reciprocal material gratitude).
At the table
The ability to behave properly at the table and eat gracefully has always been considered one of the criteria by which a person’s general cultural level was judged.
Over time, this table etiquette underwent certain changes: some rules died out, new ones appeared, but the basic norms that will be discussed remained unchanged.
Knowing these rules will help you navigate correctly in all situations related not only to sitting at a table, but also to participating in official and friendly receptions at various levels, as well as in your daily practice.
Often, especially now, when they are developing business relations with foreign firms, enterprises, people have to deal with unfamiliar dishes, types of service, etc. After all, each country has its own culinary characteristics, its own methods of serving guests.
The most reliable recommendations in cases where you have to encounter something hitherto unknown - take your time, carefully observe how your hosts or more experienced table neighbors “manage” this unknown. By doing this, you will rarely make a mistake. But even if you made it, don’t be overly upset: such mistakes of “newbies” are treated with due understanding.
In general, the basic rules of “table” etiquette in our country do not differ from those adopted in most countries of the world.
When you sit down at the table, you should first of all pay attention to your posture. No matter how beautifully the table is decorated and set, no matter how elegantly dressed those sitting at it are, their careless, sloppy poses will too clearly disrupt the harmony of the overall picture.
If you are sitting upright, but not tense, leaning lightly on the back of a chair that is not so close to the table that you have an involuntary urge to rest your elbows on the table, but not so far away that you have to use your whole body while eating dexterity so as not to drop on the floor what should be in your mouth, you will feel how from this alone your movements at the table will become natural and relaxed and you will feel simple and comfortable.
An exception to this rule can be made if you are talking with a person sitting opposite you and, due to a loud orchestra playing or noise, you cannot hear your interlocutor. In this case, when you lean forward, you will lean on your elbows placed on the table. However, this is only permissible when the food has not yet been served.
If a woman is sitting next to you, you should help her sit down - pull out a chair, wait until she sits down (and she can sit down only after the mistress of the house sits down), until all the other women and the “main guest” sit down (he is always on the right from the hostess), then sit down with the other men present.
Place the napkin. Very old people still remember the times when they tucked it into the collar of their shirt (hence the expression “tuck it in the tie” that remained in the language, which meant drinking heavily). Now in our country and in the West, both women and men place the napkin on their knees, where it remains until the end of the ceremony. It is not customary to wipe your lips firmly with a napkin. It is only lightly applied to them before drinking wine or water, so as not to leave greasy marks on the glass. Before leaving the table, the napkin should be placed on the right side of the plate, and if the plate is removed, then in the center. In this case, there is no need to carefully fold the napkin; it is enough to place it in such a way that it does not unfold and does not fall off the table.
The food begins to be served from the lady sitting on the right hand of the owner. Food and cigarettes are served from the left hand, soups and drinks from the right. They take napkins from the right.
When the food is served to everyone present, the hostess, starting first, thereby indicates that it is possible to start eating. If there are many guests at the table, there is no need to wait until everyone is bending over the plate. In this case, the food will cool down and lose its taste. Therefore, after three or four people have been served, the hostess invites them to start eating. If for some reason the hostess does not do this, then it will not be wrong if you, noticing that five or six people have been served, start eating. However, etiquette allows you to do this only after the women sitting next to you have started eating.
If you are serving national food or a dish that you have never tried and you don’t know which way to approach it, see how the hostess handles it. It will not be a violation of etiquette if you ask the hostess about what this dish is prepared from and how to eat it correctly. It is possible that this dish was served specifically to introduce guests to the peculiarities national cuisine. Your questions in this case will be very helpful.
If you drop a knife or fork, do not try to pick it up. Ask for another device. Not only in this case, but also in all others, when you have made a mistake, do not apologize or try to correct it by attracting the attention of others.
If anyone present at the table makes a mistake, try not to pay attention to it, and especially do not try to “help” the guilty person by talking about how you or your friend once committed an offense that ended more sadly, since it was flooded not only the tablecloth, but also the hostess’s dress was damaged, and serious damage was caused to the family set.
If minor offenses associated with awkward, careless movements can be forgiven, then actions that lead, even through ignorance or forgetfulness, to violations of the basic rules of behavior at the table, can cause the most serious complications.
So, it is not customary to smoke at the table until coffee is served. Many guests may find the smell of smoke unpleasant. In addition, smoking interferes with the full perception of the taste of the food served. Therefore, smoking at the table is considered a sign of disrespect for the hosts, a demonstration of disdain for their efforts spent on preparing dinner.
A gentle reminder to guests that the hosts do not welcome smoking during lunch is the absence of ashtrays on the table before coffee is served.
The breakfast menu consists of one or two cold dishes, one hot fish dish, one hot meat dish, dessert, coffee or tea. As a rule, first courses (soups) are not served for breakfast, but including them on the menu would not be a mistake. The lunch menu differs from the breakfast menu in that soup is served after cold appetizers.
The table is set accordingly. The fork to the far left of the plate is for appetizers, to the right of it, closer to the plate, is a fork for fish dishes, and finally, next to the plate is a fork for meat dishes. The soup spoon lies to the right of the plate. To the left of it, in the same order as the forks, a knife for appetizers, a knife for fish dishes and a knife for meat dishes are placed respectively. Knives are placed with the blade facing the plate, which is said to be associated with some rather interesting historical traditions. In the era of feudalism, weapons were used easily and often. Therefore, in order not to darken the atmosphere of the feast, as a reminder of the need to restrain passions, as well as a symbol of peaceful intentions, the blades of the knives were turned not towards the neighbor, but towards the plates.
The forks are placed with the tip up, and the spoon with the bulge down, so that the tines of the fork and the sharp edges of the spoon do not spoil the tablecloth.
There are never more than three pairs of knives and forks on the table. If necessary, some dishes are additionally served with knives, forks and other serving items. For example, for dishes of oysters and crabs you will be given a special small fork, and for fruit - a fruit fork and a fruit knife. Directly behind the plate, parallel to the edge of the table, lies a dessert spoon and a teaspoon.
If butter is served, the knife for it lies on a small bread saucer, which is placed on the left side of the plate. Utensils for salt and pepper are also placed on the left side of the plate, but a little closer to the center -
The napkin is placed on the plate. It can be placed next to it only if, even before the guests are seated at the table, it is necessary to put some food on the plate. If a napkin is placed next to the plate, then, according to etiquette experts, this will indicate a very immodest intention of the owners to demonstrate the beauty of the service, which can cause negative emotions in guests, equivalent to those that appear at the sight of a gold ring worn over a glove.
At official breakfasts and lunches, both here and in the West, it is customary to serve guests with second and third (and sometimes more) courses twice. This must be kept in mind in order to decide for yourself the question: is it possible to leave part of the food uneaten? If you liked it and would like to be offered it again, then, having finished the first “serving,” put the knife (right) and fork (left) with sharp ends into your plate: this is a sign service personnel so that in the event of a second loss of this dish, it will be offered to you again. If you did not like the dish or were satisfied with its quantity, then you should put the knife and fork together in the plate on the right - this means that during the second take-out you will not take this food.
If you liked the food, then during the second round, both here and in the West, for the most part, they do not hesitate to take “a little more.”
It is considered extremely impolite to talk at the table about your tastes - what you like and what you don’t, and dietary prescriptions made to you by your doctor, about the impact of certain food ingredients on your health, etc.
"They're not late for the meal!" - this ancient rule is very firmly adhered to not only during official ceremonies. Housewives all over the world really don’t like it when guests are late for breakfast, lunch or dinner.
Ask them - they will tell you the reason for this. Late arrivals must not exceed the official protocol limit of 15 minutes. After a half-hour wait, you have no right to be offended if they sit at the table without you or if you are not offered a dish that has already been passed around to the guests: you have broken the “conveyor” along which the guests are served. The rule followed by the ancient Romans remains in force: “Tarde venietibus ossa” (“Bone for those who are late!”). Yes, and the place assigned to you “according to rank” at the table may be occupied by another guest, and you should also take this without offense, as a fair punishment. In general, delays in such cases are regarded everywhere as signs of disorganization, lack of concentration of the person who allowed them and his disrespectful attitude towards the people dealing with him.
Arriving at an invitation earlier than the stipulated time is considered equally impolite: the hostess may not have everything ready, “her mouth is full of trouble,” and she has to receive guests and take time off from unfinished business. For housewives, this version of guests’ negligence is even worse than the first.
The conversation at the table should be conducted with both neighbors, without giving preference to one of them. If you find yourself next to people you don't know, you can introduce yourself to them.
It is considered extremely impolite to consider whether plates, glasses, etc. are clean, and completely unacceptable to wipe them with a napkin or handkerchief. If the dishes seem to you (and even are in fact) not clean enough, bear with it, without wincing or showing the slightest signs of dissatisfaction, just draw the necessary conclusions for yourself in case of repeated invitations to this house.
You should take the same stoic position if you find something inedible in your food (a sliver of wood, a hair, etc.), which, by the way, can happen even “in best houses Philadelphia"" under no circumstances show the slightest sign of your feelings. If you do not want to acquire an irreconcilable enemy in the person of the hostess, move the “find” to the edge of the plate, cover it with a side dish - and continue the meal as if nothing had happened.
The serving of alcoholic beverages is subject to certain rules.
Cold appetizers are served with pre-chilled liqueurs or vodka. As a rule, alcoholic drinks are not served with soup, but an exception may be made for sherry. The fish dish is accompanied by chilled dry white wine, and the meat dish by dry red wine. room temperature(15*-18* C). Chilled champagne or dessert wines are served with dessert, and cognac or liqueur is served with coffee.
Thus, each dish is accompanied by the appropriate type of wine. It is unacceptable to demand that wines be served according to your personal taste. A person who violates this rule inevitably creates a reputation for himself as an uncultured, ill-mannered person.
If an informal lunch or breakfast is being held, for example, in a restaurant, where only a few guests are present, then the host either draws up the menu himself and makes an order in advance, or, at the request of those present, orders the dishes that they have chosen. In both cases, the number and range of dishes may not coincide with the menu for formal lunches and breakfasts.
Before starting such a lunch or breakfast, the organizer may also ask those present what drinks they prefer. Expressing your personal opinion, you can refuse alcoholic drinks and ask for juice or mineral water. It will not be a violation of the rules of etiquette if you say that you prefer, for example, red wine, and throughout the entire dinner you will drink only that.
Excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages has always been considered unworthy of a well-mannered person. It is not for nothing that the rules of conduct developed under Catherine II emphasized that at the table one should “eat sweet and tasty, and drink with moderation, so that everyone can always find their feet when leaving the door.”
A person familiar with the rules of etiquette will not try to ensure that his guest drinks too much wine against his own wishes. If your neighbor does not drink this or that proposed drink, you should not find out the reason for this behavior, offer to replace the drink, or look for disrespect in this way towards you personally or the owners.
You should not drink wine when your mouth is full of food.
Toasts at formal dinners or breakfasts are made only after dessert has been served, when champagne has been poured.
At informal dinners, as well as at other receptions, toasts may be made more often, but, as a rule, not earlier than ten to fifteen minutes after the start of the reception. After making a toast, there is no need to drink all the wine poured into the glass. It is enough to raise the glass above the table, bring it to your mouth, sip lightly or drink a little wine from it.
It is not customary to clink glasses at formal dinners. In general, you should not overuse clinking glasses. The custom of clinking glasses arose in those distant times when it was not considered a serious sin to pour poison into the glasses of guests or neighbors at the table. Therefore, in order to assure the guests of his peacefulness, the host not only poured some wine into his glass first and drank it, but all the guests during the feast repeatedly “exchanged wine,” that is, poured from their glass into the glass of their neighbor, and then symbolically connected the glasses - clinked glasses.
Nowadays, the threat of poisoning is not so urgent, but the process of clinking glasses can complicate the course of the feast, especially if there is someone who wants to “combine” his glass with the glasses of all the numerous guests. In any case, when clinking glasses, do not extend your hand far beyond the table. If they clink glasses after a toast, the man should hold his glass lower than the woman’s.
Wine, rum, cognac, liqueur are drunk in small sips, slowly. Only vodka can be drunk straight to the bottom.
When pouring drinks, hold the bottle with your whole hand at the level of the label so that the index finger is on the neck. When lifting the bottle, you need to turn it a little so that the wine does not drip onto the tablecloth.
From a full bottle, first pour into your glass. At a reception, before pouring wine into the guests' glasses, one of the waiters pours a little wine into the host's glass. After tasting the wine and coming to the conclusion that the quality of the wine is good, the owner gives permission to the waiters to pour wine into the guests’ glasses.
Many foreign restaurants have a similar rule. Having opened the ordered bottle of wine and filled the glass, the waiter waits until the visitor tastes the wine and nods his head to indicate that he is satisfied with its quality. Otherwise, the waiter is obliged to replace the bottle.
Drinks are poured into glasses and glasses standing on the table. However, in some cases, for example in Japan, when offering a drink, they wait until the visitor or guest raises his glass, thereby confirming his desire to drink this or that drink. When refusing alcoholic beverages, you should not cover the glass with your hand, any object, or demonstratively turn it over.
Drink glasses are placed on the right side of the plate in one line one after another, starting to the left of the largest one. However, in order to make the table setting look more elegant, a free arrangement of glasses is often used, in which the rule is observed: large glasses should not cover smaller ones. For example, a water glass will be located directly above the knives, a champagne glass a short distance to the right of it, wine glasses will be located between these two glasses closer to the plate, a vodka glass will be located directly above the soup spoon.
The stronger the drink, the smaller the glass or shot glass into which it is poured. Therefore, vodka and liqueurs are poured into small glasses. It is customary to pour cognac little by little into large glasses that taper towards the top. The aroma of the drink is better felt in them. Tulip-shaped glasses are used for wines, but unlike glasses for dessert wines, glasses for dry wines larger size, with a wider top and a longer leg.
For any wine, medium-sized, transparent, unpainted glass glasses can also be used. Stained glass glasses are used only for white wine. A champagne glass can be of two types - either narrow and tall with a long stem, or a wide and low bowl.
Rules for handling knives, forks, spoons, etc. have been developed over many years, and their main purpose is not, as many believe, to entangle the process of eating with numerous prim formalities. Compliance with these rules, and this is confirmed by practice, allows you to use cutlery most rationally, as well as harmoniously distribute human movements when eating.
Let us dwell on the description of only the basic rules observed when eating.
Soups served in deep soup bowls. However, broth and cream of soup are usually served in a cup with one or two handles. They begin to eat the broth and puree soup with a spoon, lightly holding the handle of the cup with their left hand. Once the soup has cooled sufficiently, you can lift the cup by the handle and drink the soup directly from the cup. When lifting a cup, you should not stick your finger into the eye of the handle or stick out your little finger.
To cool the soup, do not blow into the plate, cup or spoon. Stir the soup lightly with a spoon until it cools down.
They try to prepare the soup in such a way that it does not contain ingredients that cannot be completely put into the mouth. However, if you still come across large pieces of vegetables, dumplings, dumplings, etc., they are carefully crushed with a spoon.
Minor difficulties are usually encountered when a little soup remains in the plate and every contact of the spoon with the plate begins to serve as a source of unpleasant sounds. How should you eat soup in such a situation? The most common answer, in a half-joking manner, recommends tilting the plate away from you in the case when you are not very concerned about preserving the tablecloth, but are very careful about your costume. If the suit is less valuable to you than the tablecloth, you tilt the plate towards you. In truth, the Solomon solution is to leave the soup uneaten.
There is no need to dramatize the consequences that tilting a plate can cause. Therefore, when there is not much soup left in the plate, it is customary to slightly lift the plate with your left hand and tilt it away from you. By doing this, you can continue to adhere to the rules of using a spoon without much difficulty, namely: fill the spoon with soup in a motion away from you.
They eat soup from the edge of a spoon, bringing it parallel to the mouth. Therefore, a round-shaped soup spoon best suits its purpose.
Meat dishes eaten with a knife and fork.
Everyone knows that when eating, you need to hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right. However, in everyday practice we tend to neglect this rule, and therefore, when the need arises to use it, it turns out that lack of experience entails a whole series errors.
One of the most common is using a knife to put food on a fork. You can use a knife to slightly adjust what you are about to take with a fork. You cannot cut everything you can with a knife and then use only a fork. Those meat dishes that can be easily dismembered with a fork are not cut with a knife. Such dishes, for example, include meatballs, lula kebab, and cutlets.
When eating food with a knife and fork, they are constantly held in the hands, even at the moment when only the fork is used. When cutting food, the fork and knife should be held at a slight angle to the plate, and not vertically. The handles of the knife and fork should be in the palms.
There should be no doubt about which knife and fork to start eating with. No matter how many knives and forks are on the table, You should always start with the device farthest from the plate. As new dishes are served, the knives and forks used change.
While eating, do not lean low over the plate. According to etiquette guides, in this position you will resemble a bird pecking at grains.
You should stay as straight as possible, only leaning forward slightly.
If the food you tried is very hot, drink water. Any other actions are unacceptable. No matter how disappointed you are with the taste of the food, the piece of it that is in your mouth should be eaten. Only fish bones and fruit seeds can be removed from the mouth.
You should not fill your mouth with large amounts of food.
When you need to take a glass or bread, place the fork and knife crosswise on the plate: the fork with the convex part up, and the knife with the tip to the left. You can place the fork and knife on the plate so that their handles rest on the table. However, in this case, you will need to be extra careful, since if you move awkwardly, the knife or fork may slip off the plate and fall on the table.
If you want to show that you have finished eating, do not move the plate away from you, but place a knife and fork parallel to each other on it. In this case, their handles will be turned to the right. The fork should have its tines facing up.
The dishes, which must be taken from the tray by the guests themselves, are placed on plates using a serving fork and spoon. Food is taken with a spoon, which is held with the left hand, while helping with a fork located in right hand. It is unacceptable to serve food from a common dish with cutlery served for one guest.
At the table, as far as possible, you should not take food with your hands.
Game It is customary to eat (even the smallest birds) with a knife and fork. Using a knife and fork, separate as much meat from the bird as your skill and dexterity allow. If any difficulties arise, it is better to leave the food uneaten.
Given the inevitability of such difficulties, owners strive to prepare and serve game in such a form as to make the process of cutting it on a plate as easy as possible.
Fish dishes eaten with a special fish knife and fork. In this case, the fish is not cut with a knife.
The fish knife began to be used relatively recently - during the reign of Queen Victoria in England, and therefore some jealous guardians of traditions, considering it as an “innovation”, prefer to eat fish dishes using two forks.
Fish has always been considered a “difficult” food, since fish bones can cause a lot of trouble. A fish knife with a wide, rounded end is mainly used to separate fish bones from meat.
If you still need to remove fish bones from your mouth, then they should be placed on a fork leaning against your lips, and from it onto a plate.
Salads, served as additions to roasts and game, are taken from a large dish using the spoon and fork supplied with the dish and placed on small plates from which they are eaten.
Before the advent of knives stainless steel avoided using knives for cutting salad and fruit, as this caused their surface to darken. Currently, there are no serious reasons why you should not use a knife to cut lettuce. In addition, it is not so easy to eat salad without resorting to a knife.
Fish, meat, vegetable and other salads are placed on your plate and eaten using a knife and fork.
Bread take it with your hand (not with a fork) from a common plate and place it on a plate specially intended for it. Bread is eaten by breaking off small pieces with the hand, which can be eaten in one or two servings.
The butter is spread on a piece of bread, which is held with the fingers of the left hand on the plate. You should not spread a slice of bread with butter while holding it suspended. If your cutlery does not include a knife specifically designed for butter, you can use any other knife, but you must ensure that the remains of other foods are not transferred to the butter by this knife.
Jam, jam is first placed on a bread plate, and then placed on slices of bread.
You should not crumble bread onto a plate in order to pick up the remaining sauce.
Sandwiches take with your hands if they are served with drinks before the start of dinner. At the table, sandwiches are eaten with a fork and knife.
The cheese is taken with a special fork and placed on your plate, and from it onto bread or thin dry cookies; The processed cheese is spread on slices of bread with a regular knife used for butter.
Sausage and ham Serve sliced and peeled, slices of sausage and ham are placed on a plate with a fork and eaten with a knife and fork.
Fruits eaten with a fruit knife and fork. The apple and pear are cut into four parts or eight slices on a plate, then the core is removed, the slices are peeled and eaten by taking them from the plate with your hands.
Break the plums in half with your fingers and remove the pit.
Cherry pits, as well as seeds and hard grape skins are, if possible, discreetly removed from the mouth onto a spoon.
Watermelons and melons are served in slices and eaten with a spoon or knife and fork.
The grapefruit is served cut in half, with the edible middle part peeled with a knife and sprinkled with powdered sugar. They eat with a spoon.
Place the orange on a plate and, holding it with your left hand, use a knife to cut the peel from top to bottom into slices. The peeled orange is divided into slices with a knife. The bones are removed with a knife.
The peel of tangerines is easily removed, so they are peeled and divided into slices by hand without the help of a knife. The seeds are removed in the same way as when eating cherries and grapes.
Berries, including strawberries, are sprinkled with sugar and served with whipped cream. They eat them with a spoon.
You can peel the banana until halfway through and, holding it in your hand, eat it, biting it into pieces. However, it is preferable to peel the whole banana, place it on a plate, cut it into pieces and eat it with a fork.
It is not so common these days, but it is still possible to see a table set with small cups of water to rinse off fingers that may be stained by fruit juice. These cups are placed on the left side of the plates. The fingertips are dipped into water and then wiped on a napkin.
Currently, the use of bowls for rinsing fingers is widespread in Eastern countries, where many foods are eaten with hands.
Tea and coffee. Probably the least problems arise when you drink tea or coffee. It is rare now to meet a person who would pour tea onto a saucer, blow diligently into it, and then not even drink, but inhale the tea with some special dashing whistle. This is how they drank tea at the dawn of the 17th century, when tea was brought to Europe from China. The first admirers of this drink used small cups without handles - a copy of the Chinese ones.
However, mistakes are also made when handling these drinks. After stirring tea or coffee with a spoon, leave it in a glass or cup, whereas it should be placed on a saucer. Dip cookies into tea or coffee, and also drink tea or coffee when your mouth is full of food. Taking the cup, they insert their finger into the eye of the handle and mannerly put their little finger aside.
Sugar in the absence of special tongs, take it with your hand, not with a spoon, and lower it into a cup.
Cake and biscuits are eaten with a dessert spoon.
The cookies are eaten by breaking off pieces.
A slice of lemon, taken with a special small fork, is placed in a glass of tea or a cup of coffee, the juice is squeezed out with a spoon, and the remainder is taken out and placed on the edge of the saucer.
Lemon is usually also served with fish dishes and some meat dishes. In this case, the lemon is placed on the dish and, pressing on it with the convex side of a fork, the juice is squeezed out.
You should drink tea slowly, especially not in one gulp, getting burned and puffing. But don't hesitate too much. Iced tea is tasteless. And besides, you will look ridiculous sipping tea when all the other guests have finished.
In many countries it is customary to invite guests for coffee. This does not mean that you will only be served coffee. You may be offered tea, as well as cookies, cake, nuts, and sometimes cognac or liqueurs. But you shouldn’t expect to be fed meat or fish. And you yourself, when inviting guests for coffee, should not fill the table with all kinds of snacks or an abundance of wine bottles.
By placing a napkin on the table or getting up from the table, the hostess (or owner) indicates that dinner is over. Only after this sign can guests also put down their napkins and rise.
At the end of lunch, when getting up from the table, they do not leave the chair aside, but move it back to the table. A man helps his neighbor up by pushing her chair away and then returning it to the table.
You can leave official ceremonies only after the “main guest” in whose honor it was held has left. At friendly meetings, on the contrary, one should not wait for the departure of the one who may be considered by the hosts to be the most welcome guest, whom they would like to keep longer than others.
In such cases, be guided by the formula J.-J. Russo: " Smart man leaves a minute before when he would be superfluous." It does not hurt to remember the Eastern wisdom: "The guest is necessary for the owner, like breathing for a person. But if the breath comes in and doesn’t come out, the person dies.”
In behavior at the table, in handling cutlery, in the manner of eating, there can be many small details unfamiliar to us, especially when communicating with foreigners - after all, each country has its own specific rules, sometimes depending on the traditions of the national cuisine. Therefore - once again: look closely at how the hostess, the host and your neighbors at the table act, and do everything as they do - there will be no mistakes."
