Are you constantly irritated, lose your temper over trifles, don’t like everything around you, and already in the morning do you wake up in a bad mood? It’s clear that your loved ones don’t like it, but it’s unlikely that you like it either.
Why does irritation occur? The first thing you need to understand is whether your irritability is a consequence of ill health. After all, it can be caused by the flu, colds, premenstrual syndrome, alcohol or drug abuse, stress, diabetes, schizophrenia, Alzheimer's disease, thyroid disease, stroke, brain tumors. In this case, you should immediately consult a doctor, determine the exact cause and get treatment.
Irritation can be caused by some kind of conflict that you cannot resolve and “drive” deeper. Involuntarily returning to it, you do not find a way out, and therefore you become irritated by everything that surrounds you. The only way out of this state is to resolve the conflict. Therefore, resort to the help of other people, understand everything in detail, find a way out and act. The relief you then feel will be the best reward, even if you suffer some losses. Remember, this is how children who have committed an act that deserves punishment experience. They suffer until they get what they “deserved,” and then they immediately find themselves in a good mood.
But more often than not, our irritability is a consequence of an incorrect perception of the world and the contradictions between what we want and what we can afford, between our desires and the need to act contrary to them. And the fewer chances to influence situations, the stronger the irritation.
A simple example: you don’t feel well in the morning, but you need to go to work. The mood deteriorates until you decide to take a day off, ask your boss for time off - in general, look for some legal opportunity to stay at home. As soon as you find it, your mood immediately improves.
But tomorrow the situation may repeat itself, but there will be no opportunity to change it. And then the feeling of irritation will increase in proportion to the impossibility or inability to influence the situation. As a result, a person is faced with a choice: either accept the circumstances in which he finds himself, or continue to try to bring the current situation into line with his internal needs and desires.
But people who never get irritated probably don’t exist in nature at all. And this is understandable, because in everyday reality, at work, on the street, even at home, in the family, with relatives, we are forced to restrain ourselves, to be polite, tolerant, and balanced. We hold back our dissatisfaction and resentment, sometimes we swallow other people’s rudeness without being able to respond or stop. And by constantly restraining and hiding our emotions, we thereby ruin our health, our nervous system. Therefore, there is nothing wrong if sometimes we stop holding back and get angry at others. The most important thing is not to allow yourself too much and to control yourself, your irritation, your emotions.
It is much worse if irritation takes over us completely, and we lose control over our words and actions. To prevent this from happening, you need to learn to control yourself, for example, not to get irritated over trifles. If you are nervous and unable to change circumstances, then soon you are guaranteed to have neurosis! Moreover, then, your irritation will be so enormous for every insignificant reason that it will turn into a serious problem for yourself, first of all.
It is very important to learn to accept life as it is, to put up with something. Remember what Zhvanetsky said: “I will never be tall. And beautiful. And slim. Michel Mercier will never love me. And in my younger years I will not live in Paris...” Yes, you need to calmly accept some realities of your life, for example, the absence of not only a prince, but also a white horse. But you have a loving and dear person nearby. So what if your children are not child prodigies?! But they are healthy, cheerful and bring you a lot of joy. If you learn to think like this, then you will reconcile yourself with the world around you, and, therefore, you will be close to harmony in your soul.
And also, every time you start to feel irritation, analyze and find its roots! Then it will be easy for you to eliminate the cause and regain your good mood! It all depends on you - who better can understand you, your soul, except yourself?!
Anger is one of the basic human emotions. And he is also a harbinger of aggression. Usually a person becomes angry because of injustice shown to him. This is followed by either calm or an outburst of rage. But it's one thing when a person is angry for a real reason. But many people notice attacks of rage, provoked by mere trifles. What to do in this case, how to cope with anger?
Prerequisites
First you need to go to the roots. If a person starts at half a turn and flashes with a blue flame from the slightest spark, he has problems. Most likely, he is dissatisfied with his life. Or schedule, work, home, personal life. And here's tip number 1 regarding how to deal with anger: you need to get your life in order.
And there are a lot of ways. First, you need to get rid of overvoltage. Sleep a normal number of hours, eat at the same time, don’t drag home the “burden” from work (both emotional and in the form of tasks). Secondly, you need to bring activity into your life. If a person has only home and work on his schedule, it is not surprising that he gets irritated and angry over trifles. You can sign up for a gym, a swimming pool, or yoga. And life will be diversified, the environment will change, and your health will be strengthened.
You definitely need to get rid of unnecessary things. Life is easier in a free, uncluttered space. According to Feng Shui, the accumulation of things leads to clutter in thoughts.
You also need to stop rushing. When a person is constantly in a hurry, one gets the feeling that there is catastrophically little time. And there is enough of it, you just need to get used to its distribution. To do this, you can keep a notebook for planning your schedule and tasks. And get up half an hour earlier to do a quick exercise, take a shower and enjoy a cup of coffee. This way you can tone yourself up and set the mood for the whole next day. And if the morning begins with shouts of “I’m late!” and a quick breakfast on the go, it is not surprising that then a person gets pissed off at some trifle.
Ways to get distracted
Eliminating preconditions is not a matter of one day. Therefore, ways to cope with anger that occurs at one moment are also worth knowing.
You need to turn your attention to your breathing. Hold for maximum time, then push out the air. For what? This will reduce mental activity and at least distract you.
If rage asks to come out, then you can tear paper, newspaper, napkin to shreds, or break an old pen. Even in the process of communicating with the object, it’s a little strange, but it’s a hundred times better than a scandal.
Aromatherapy - effective method. But at work, a bath with fragrant oils cannot help cope with anger. She simply isn't there. So it’s worth keeping a small bag (sachet) with dry soothing herbs with you.
It also rinses off effectively. cold water. This procedure relieves tension from the facial muscles and improves blood circulation.
Appeal to logic
If a person experiences a flash of rage and is angry with someone, then it’s time to think about the situation. You can put yourself in the place of your opponent-irritant. Ask a couple of questions. Why did he do/say that? What is he right about?
And it also happens that a person takes it out on someone who is not to blame at all, and then regrets it. But the word is not a sparrow. To avoid such annoying mistakes, you need to develop the habit of silence. Don’t blurt out cynical thoughts, but think about whether they need to be uttered at all? Is it worth it? In most cases the answer is no. You cannot be led by emotions, as you can offend a loved one with your actions. But it’s not his fault that a person’s day (or life) is not a success.
Many people, thinking about how to cope with anger, decide to develop a conditioned reflex that controls aggression. For example, every time you feel a surge of aggression or clench your teeth. Such an unpleasant action will cut off the flow of evil thoughts.
Parting with emotions
When talking about how to cope with anger and irritability, one cannot help but talk about the release of energy. Each person experiencing aggression must choose for himself a way through which he can part with negative emotions. The above describes methods on how to cope with attacks of anger. That is, suppress them and block them. But they accumulate - in the muscles, soul, consciousness. And every person, suppressing anger, should know that soon he will release all his emotions.
For example, in a boxing gym, beating a punching bag. Or on a treadmill, covering conventional kilometers. Singing helps many people. And even better - screams. Is it possible to get out to a place remote from people? Don't miss it. After a person shouts to the whole area, he will feel joy and satisfaction. A corresponding mental reaction will occur, followed by a phase of calm and peace.
Relax
After screaming or beating a punching bag, you need to relax. Because all this is also a kind of tension. And what to do after you have managed to cope with anger and anger? Best to accept hot bath. Thanks to this, you will be able to strengthen the body, normalize the concentration of salts in the body, eliminate excess sugar and ultimately cleanse yourself of accumulated negative energy. Besides hot bath strengthens the kidneys and heart. This, in turn, affects the cleansing of blood vessels and “breaking through” closed capillaries.
By the way, if possible, it is worth taking time for a massage. It helps keep the body and spirit in in better shape, and also restores the body after stress, reduces tension in muscles, relaxes them and normalizes blocked energy flow.
After the procedure you should enjoy a cup green tea or a decoction of currant, raspberry and rose hip leaves. This will help restore the balance of vitamin C. Few people pay attention to this nuance attention, but in vain. The lack of this organic compound causes vitamin deficiency, which causes muscle and joint pain, drowsiness, fatigue and irritability. This is hardly what a person needs, who is already worried about how to cope with anger and aggression.
Children's anger
This topic is also worth paying attention to. Many parents grab their heads - how to cope with children's anger, what to do if the child is angry? First you need to understand the source of this emotion. Not all children make contact with their parents, so often one can only guess about the reasons.
The most common reason for a child’s rage is the appearance of another “flower of life” in the family. It causes not only anger, but also jealousy. A child, accustomed to the love, attention of his parents and the benefits due to him, is offended by the fact that now he is not the only one who gets all this. To overcome children’s anger in this situation, you don’t need to say this boring phrase: “Well, baby, we still love you.” Words are unnecessary, you need to act - continue to show care and love for the baby. Even down to the material side of the issue. If the parents bought several bags of things for the newborn and did not bring anything to the eldest, it is clear that he will be offended.
Other reasons
But a child can also be angry for other reasons. For example, if he is forced to do something he does not want. Wash your ears every day, eat only porridge all the time in the morning, go for walks only on Sundays. Parents are surprised - everything was fine before! Naturally. After all earlier child was naive, but now he began to develop as a person and show character. And how can he show this? Only angry, because so far, due to his age, he does not know other methods - only emotions. And many parents, seeing that the child has stopped obeying, begin to scream and get irritated. And it would do them good to think about how to cope with anger at a child, because what he does is normal.
It is important for adults to accept this fact. Understand that their child is a separate person. And offer him compromises. Don't want to eat porridge every morning? Okay, let's have buns for breakfast twice a week. Does walking on just one day off make him feel like he's under house arrest? You can allow him to go out to friends on some weekday. The key to resolving the problem lies in being involved with the child and understanding his feelings. It's important to remember this.
How to respond to aggression?
This is also a pretty important topic. And it’s worth saying a few words about it, since often the irritant that causes anger is an angry and angry opponent. And it is extremely important not to succumb to its influence, so as not to ruin your mood.
You must remain calm and not stoop to the level of an angry interlocutor. If it is not possible to block contact by walking away from it (for example, the boss is angry), you need to withstand the attack with confidence. Look straight into the eyes, holding your head high, countering with reasoned arguments. Even if the boss is in an affective rage, the logic of his opponent can awaken a light in his subconscious. Or at least the fearless appearance of the “victim” will discourage him.
And yet, there is no need to argue. Parry - yes, but do not violently prove and defend any point of view. In such a confrontation, endurance is important. And patience. The boss will speak out and calm down. After which he will forget about what happened. And some even apologize. But if the subordinate begins to be insolent in response, to show character, there is a risk of remaining enemies.
Nervousness- a state of intense excitability nervous system, leading to sharp and acute reactions to minor stimuli. Often this condition occurs along with irritability, anxiety, and restlessness. Nervousness manifests itself in various symptoms: headaches, insomnia, a tendency to depression, increased suspiciousness, lability of pulse and blood pressure, decreased performance. Depending on the cause, symptoms are combined to form symptom complexes.
Increased nervousness is perceived as imbalance, lack of restraint, therefore such people are often mistakenly perceived as ill-mannered, dissolute individuals. Therefore, it would be advisable to undergo an examination, determine the cause and begin treatment for irritability and nervousness.
Causes of nervousness
Nervousness always has a reason; a person doesn’t just become nervous if everything is fine. All reasons can be divided into physiological and psychological.
The most common physiological causes of nervousness are diseases of the endocrine system, digestive tract, deficiency nutrients, minerals, vitamins, hormonal imbalances.
Among the psychological causes of nervousness: stressful situations, lack of sleep, fatigue,...
Sometimes ordinary situations that a person would not pay attention to in a calm situation also cause emotional outbursts, for example, the sound of a hammer, a scream, the weather, music.
Many people often admire people who know how to restrain their emotions and suppress nervous impulses, but they have no idea what it costs them, what the price of such endurance and willpower is. Suppressing emotions is extremely harmful to health. When a person does not give vent to his experiences, nervousness is formed, tension increases inside, “pressure” is formed and “steam” must come out somewhere, and in this case, it comes out in the form of painful symptoms.
In ancient times, such people were called “bilious people,” which is associated with diseases of the biliary tract that arose from increased nervousness. Irritability that builds up for a long time, breaks the stable balance of a person, leads to.
If you endure and endure everything within yourself all the time, then soon there comes a moment when restraint is lost and even the most innocent action can cause a nervous reaction. When a person is dissatisfied with himself, this only adds fuel to the fire, irritability becomes even greater. Then the neurotic state becomes stable, and it is very difficult to get rid of it.
The problem with such people is that they take on too much, consider it a weakness to express emotions and suppress irritability. Sometimes they simply don’t know how to correctly express emotions, how to deal with. And often they reach the point where they need treatment for irritability and nervousness. If this is not a very advanced case, then you just need to make a small correction of perception, change negative views to positive ones, change your attitude towards things that cause irritation.
Nervousness can be a consequence of a severe somatic illness, for example, in some forms of cancer.
Increased nervousness occurs in pathological conditions of the central nervous system of the human psyche. Pathologies are organic - post-traumatic encephalopathy and functional - vegetative-vascular dystonia.
Nervousness can be a consequence of mental illnesses such as depression, epilepsy,. This condition may be accompanied by addiction (alcoholism, smoking, and others). The nervous system is closely related to the endocrine system, representing a single neuroendocrine system.
Nervousness manifests itself as a result of hormonal disorders - thyrotoxicosis, male and female menopause, premenstrual syndrome.
Increased fatigue and depression, together with nervousness, make up a symptom complex called “minor signs of stomach cancer.” The manifestation of such symptoms is very great value in the diagnosis of early stages of the disease.
Headaches, nervousness, insomnia - this is familiar to many, especially women. According to statistics, they are irritable more often than men. It is necessary to understand what exactly causes nervousness in women. The most common reason is workload. When there are a lot of urgent matters around and there is no one with whom to share responsibilities, a woman has to take on everything, responsibility for the family, home, work.
If a woman were to create a routine for her day, to list all her responsibilities minute by minute, then there would be a long list of various tasks that require her attention. Every morning starts the same way - getting up early in order to have time to prepare breakfast for everyone and gather all family members, and have time to get ready, send the children to school, prepare lunch for my husband, and at the same time show up at work on time. And at work throughout the day, the pace also does not slow down; timely fulfillment of professional duties is required. Upon returning home, the momentum does not slow down, household chores continue: cooking dinner, washing dishes, preparing for tomorrow's work day, as a result of which there is no time left for personal matters, because you still need to have time to sleep. In this case, responsibilities should be distributed among all family members so that everyone has a chance to relax and not shift things to another, thus everyone will appreciate each other more, and the woman will feel much better, the number of reasons for irritability and nervousness will decrease .
Women's nervousness is most provoked by hormonal imbalances - premenstrual syndrome, menstruation, pregnancy, menopause. During these periods, a woman’s perception is heightened, she becomes too sensitive and any slight discomfort can cause a negative reaction. If nervousness and irritability appear in women, treatment should occur, the sooner the better, because they spend a lot of their energy and nerves on unnecessary things.
Nervousness can be caused by rejection of generally accepted norms of behavior. When a person’s principles diverge from these norms, if he does not agree to live and work as society dictates, if he does not want to meet their requirements, this naturally leads to irritability.
Symptoms of nervousness
Bad mood, headaches, nervousness, insomnia, general weakness, fatigue - this is an incomplete list of the symptoms that plague an irritated and unbalanced person. Unmotivated aggression, feelings of anxiety, tearfulness, etc. are also added to this list.
These symptoms are numerous and can often mean something other than nervousness. Such symptoms can be grouped into various syndromes. But we can identify the most characteristic signs of nervousness: neurosis-like states, neuroses and neurotic reactions.
Characteristic symptoms also include repetitive actions of the same type, such as swinging a leg, tapping fingers, nervously walking from one place to another. There may also be sudden active movements, a shrill and loud voice. By raising his voice, a person gets rid of emotional stress, finds peace of mind, he shouts out the tension that is pressing him from within. At this state sexual activity, libido decrease, desire for a partner, interest in favorite activities disappears.
Increased nervousness develops on the basis of a stable experience of severe stress, as well as physical and mental stress. As a result, social relations with society deteriorate.
- one of the most characteristic features nervousness, it manifests itself in the fact that too much anxiety and excitement of the nervous system do not allow a person to fall asleep for three or four hours. Therefore, almost all people in a state of nervousness do not observe a day-night routine; they can sleep soundly during the day and wake up several times at night. Since the symptoms of nervousness are varied, it would be wise to see a doctor to get an accurate diagnosis.
Treatment of nervousness
Therapy for nervousness, which is caused by various diseases, should be carried out under the supervision of a specialist, since self-medication can cause even more harm. If nervousness is a symptom of some pathology, then it is necessary to treat, first of all, the cause, that is, to investigate the peculiarities of the course of the disease. Also applicable general principles in the treatment of symptoms and causes of nervousness, which can be used in complex therapy.
These principles imply next steps: normalization and stabilization of the day and night regime, elimination of the most destabilizing factors that increase the excitability of the central nervous system. You should review your diet, avoid drinks containing caffeine, guarana and other stimulating ingredients (coffee, strong tea, cola), limit or eliminate alcohol from your diet. Fruits and fresh vegetables should predominate in the diet; food should be balanced and light, not heavy.
If you have a smoking habit, you also need to get rid of it. There is a myth that nicotine calms a person; it is just a short-term illusory effect. Smoking has a toxic effect on the brain, which further intensifies the nervous state.
You can reduce nervousness with moderate physical activity, preferably in the fresh air. If there is increased nervousness, a course of psychotherapy, reflexology, dance classes, or yoga is prescribed.
If a person suffers from insomnia, which very often happens in people with this condition, then he needs to direct efforts to eliminate it. Because than more people does not sleep, the more nervous he behaves during the day, when he wants to fall asleep, but cannot, because the nervous processes are irritated, and thus a vicious circle results and this cyclicality must be destroyed. To do this, you should follow several rules. You need to go to bed earlier than midnight, because at this time rest is of greatest value to the nervous system. To do this, you need to move your usual bedtime 10-15 minutes back every day. An hour or two before the lights out, you need to exclude factors that irritate the psyche, for example, watching TV, talking in social networks, games, eating and drinking. Evening walks, warm baths, aromatherapy, and relaxing yoga help promote better sleep.
When a person has feeling unwell, depression, nervousness and anxiety should be treated with tranquilizers that eliminate anxiety. Such drugs have a beneficial effect on falling asleep, reduce anxiety, etc. All sedatives, if necessary, are prescribed by a doctor. Habitual tea and coffee should be replaced by brewing soothing herbal infusions (motherwort, mint, valerian, lemon balm).
Increased nervousness and irritability in women, treatment for this condition requires medications. The peculiarity of the treatment of female nervousness lies in the complexity of the female body, so women are prescribed a full examination and consultation with a number of specialists - a psychologist, therapist, neurologist, gynecologist, sex therapist, endocrinologist. If the case is very severe, the woman is hospitalized in a hospital.
Treatment of irritability and nervousness is often carried out by the person himself without the supervision of a specialist. The treatment methods that a person uses are often unique. Many people, in order to relax and get away from the external “irritable” world, drink alcohol in large quantities. Someone listens to the recommendations of friends who, not being doctors, advise using potent drugs (Valocordin, Phenazepam), which are addictive and others side effects if they are not suitable for a particular person.
Nervousness and anxiety treatment occurs under when a person has severe mood swings. These conditions may be primarily caused by emotional disorders. During the consultation, the psychotherapist conducts psychodiagnostics, understands what can cause nervousness in a person and why he has increased anxiety. Next, the specialist creates an individual consulting program, a course of psychotherapy, during which a person will be able to figure out what and why causes anxiety attacks in him, learn to better understand himself and change his attitude towards various events, and be able to learn adequate types of response to various potentially irritating factors. He will also learn relaxation and meditation techniques, which he can then independently apply in situations of anxiety and irritability.
Every person experiences irritation arising from some unpleasant life situations. All people are different, there are those who “start up with half a turn”, while others are called “thick-skinned”; nothing can get through them. This is due to the innate temperament and structure of the nervous system stressful situations. However, the question of how to deal with irritability is far from idle, because nerve cells, unfortunately, are not restored. If the situation gets out of control and a person “breaks down,” this does not mean at all that he has a nasty character - it’s just that some people are more prone to such expressions of emotion, they do not experience them inside themselves, but splash them out. By the way, psychologists consider this more correct than accumulating negativity inside, poisoning your own life.
- Some will say that giving advice is easy, but maybe some of it will help you.
- Analyze the situation that causes your irritation - who or what is it? This will allow you to establish the cause, knowing which, you can try to eliminate it.
- Learn restraint. Do not rush to answer if you are not sure that you can answer calmly.
- Mentally tell yourself that everything is fine with you, setting yourself up for positive emotions.
- Learn to “put a barrier” between yourself and a person who is in a state of irritation - negative emotions easily transmitted.
- Try to “switch” your attention from the situation that annoys you - think about something pleasant.
- Do not get carried away with watching TV programs, especially news and crime-related ones - negative information increases the likelihood of irritation.
- Organize your own daily routine. Give yourself enough time to relax, walk, and visit the theater.
- The number of hours of sleep should not be less than seven to eight.
- In any situation when you need to decide how to deal with irritability so as not to worsen it, find something positive for you, there are always advantages, you need to learn to find them.
- Monitor your own water balance. Drink enough water a day, which will bring calm.
- Don't skimp on your own vacation. A tired body reacts faster to irritating factors.
- Learn to perform breathing exercises. It is very effective in relieving attacks of irritability.
Get rid of irritability - pleasant with useful
Essential oils help cope with irritability. If you have a constant feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself and others, then visit a beauty salon, where you will be offered various procedures that can relieve fatigue and internal tension. If you wish, you can carry the “sedative” with you - drop a drop of oil on a handkerchief. Recommended oils: anise, lavender, cypress, lemon, frankincense, rose, chamomile, rosemary, sandalwood, tangerine, lemon balm.
Calming infusions
Recipe. Carefully move equal proportions of valerian, cumin, motherwort, and fennel. Take 5 dessert spoons of the herbal mixture, pour 500 milliliters of boiling water, leave, strain. Infusion: a quarter glass four times a day. It will take ten days to get the effect.
Resume
Eat original ways, how to deal with irritability, which, if mastered, are very effective. Having mentally imagined someone who annoys you, scroll through the situation in your head: what can you do about him? You need to think figuratively, drawing out the smallest details of the enemy’s “execution.” No doubt it will bring satisfaction. Good luck.
