There is almost always someone around us - spouses, parents, children, friends, colleagues and even complete strangers. This involves constant communication, both desired and unexpected. For greater mutual understanding and in order not to violate the freedoms and views of others, some rules for communicating with people were invented. It has been noticed that when using at least the basic rules of communication, people often gain the favor of others and have a reputation as a pleasant interlocutor. This ability to communicate correctly also has a positive effect on career growth.
We have to communicate with different people, therefore, in each environment we try to use suitable rules, because everyone needs an individual approach. Communication at work is very different from communication with family or friends while fishing.
Rules for communicating with friends
It would seem that when communicating with friends, no rules are needed, because these are people close to us who perceive us as we are. This is a misconception that can lead to loss of contact. For example, when communicating with a friend in front of strangers, we, as a rule, do not switch to “You”, and often address the interlocutor not by name, but by “nickname”. It doesn’t occur to us that this could be unpleasant for a person.
At first we allow ourselves “sharp jokes” and ridicule towards friends, a slightly dismissive tone, and then we sincerely wonder why there are so few good friends in our lives or why they no longer want to spend time with us.
I would like to note that no matter how the world and our views change, the basic rule of communication between people will always be relevant - respect. A relative, a boss, a fellow passenger on a train - it doesn’t matter, every person deserves to be treated with respect. Having comprehended this truth, everyone will have a chance to become the most interesting person for others.
A lot of books have been written on the topic of rules of communication and communication, in which you can find recommendations and advice for all occasions. Very popular authors are Dale Carnegie and Allan Pease. From all the literature, several of the most important rules, which have remained important and relevant for many years, the so-called golden rules of communication. These can safely include the following:
- Always smile. A smile evokes positive emotions and a positive infusion, endearing you to your interlocutor (or even a group of people).
- Be clear. Especially when it comes to business meeting or simply serious conversation. By the way, if your interlocutor is a man, put double emphasis on this rule.
- Be polite. And it doesn't matter whether you're talking to a boss or a subordinate, service personnel or a child - rudeness and familiarity have never served anyone well.
A child is just a small adult and communicating with him also requires certain skills. Remember, children do not do what you say, but repeat what you do. You should address other people's children at school, in a store, on the street as "you", this will raise their self-esteem and elevate you in their eyes.
You should not let your child know that you are stronger even physically, otherwise over time you yourself will “run into” the same argument. Listen to the children to the end, do not interrupt him with the words: “I said so, I know better,” otherwise a very withdrawn child will grow up in your family. Children have the right to defend their point of view.
And the most important rule in communicating with children is to always try to find a common language with them. There is a way out of any situation that will suit both sides, you just need to work hard and find it.
10 rules for communicating with people
Close people often forgive us our mistakes (be they hurtful words or stupid actions), but everyone else chooses “just not to deal with him anymore.” Therefore, when meeting for the first time or rare meetings with unfamiliar people in communication, you should adhere to 10 simple rules:
- Listen more than talk.
- Do not lie yourself and do not force your interlocutor to lie.
- Think before you speak.
- Don't make fun of your interlocutor.
- Do not interrupt, giving the opportunity to speak.
- Avoid arrogant, dismissive behavior towards the interlocutor.
- Maintain a confident but friendly tone.
- Respect your interlocutor's point of view.
- Call your interlocutor by name.
- When meeting any person, have a good, positive mood.
Start using these effective rules in your life and see how quickly your environment begins to change and grow. And, perhaps, you will gain not only the respect of your colleagues, but also many new and interesting friends.
Communication is an integral part human life. Every day we come into contact with many people - family, work colleagues, business partners, friends, as well as completely strangers- in a store, subway and just on the street. It is very important that it is pleasant for both interlocutors, as well as productive. After all, what is his main goal? That's right, mutual exchange of information, thoughts, feelings and emotions. It is worth especially emphasizing the word “mutual”, that is, each of the interlocutors must be understood and heard by the other, otherwise resentments, misunderstandings, and ultimately quarrels may arise in the future. That is why each of us simply needs to know the rules of communicating with people. What they are, what they are like - we will talk about this in this article, so read carefully, the information will certainly be useful to you.
Shall we talk?
Psychologists say that the rules of communication with people are a kind of unwritten code. He helps to become an excellent conversationalist, whose opinion is always listened to and who is always a welcome guest in any home. is also very important during business negotiations with partners. And in ordinary life it won’t hurt. A person who knows the rules of communicating with people and applies them in practice always has many good friends and acquaintances, he is always welcome.
Down with embarrassment!
But what to do if you absolutely do not know how to communicate with others? Whenever you try to talk to a person, you become afraid, you start to stammer, or you completely forget what you wanted to say. Does this happen? Then listen to our simple tips. First of all, remember the first and most important rule: you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of other people. You can communicate with every person on equal terms. Ask him questions, ask for help, or share information. Communication is a completely natural process for every person, so throw away your complexes and start communicating. You will see that it is easy. And now we will tell you 5 rules for communicating with people. In fact, there are many more, but we will highlight the most basic ones.
Rules of communication between people
So, if you want to become a good conversationalist:
Strangers can become friends
There are also situations when you need to communicate with complete strangers. You came to a party organized by a friend. You're just getting into new team at school or work. There can be many such situations. Therefore, you should remember the rules of communication with strangers:
Remember that the above rules of communicating with people are easy, but they will help you in your daily life while talking to everyone. Don't forget to put them into practice!
Learning Objectives:
- To promote students' understanding of communication techniques (active listening techniques) as the basis for successful communication;
- Expanding ideas about methods of self-analysis and self-correction in the field of communication.
Developmental goals:
- Contribute to the development of communication skills through organizing dialogue and mastering methods and techniques of effective communication (and developing the ability to use active listening techniques
Educational goals:
- Promote the formation and development of tolerance through the development of empathy based on the technique of active listening.
Materials and requirements for organizing the game: Colored chalk, cards with tasks for 4 groups, “Active listening” reminders, markers, magnets, pens, cards with words.
Lesson steps:
- Designation of the lesson topic.
- Problem Definition
- Work in pairs
- Generalization of children's opinions. Definition of rules for effective communication. Recording the rules. Sketching an image of the problem of “listening” and “hearing”
- Work in groups (all participants are divided into 4 groups during the exercise). Definition of rules for effective communication. Recording the rules.
- Reflection.
- Work in groups of 4 people.
- Presentation of group work. collective discussion, choosing the right option.
- Summarizing. Children offer their own formulation of the initially proposed statement. Options are hung on the board using magnets.-
During the classes
Organizing time.
Hello!
Communication has always been valued not so much for the exchange of information (even very necessary), but for the opportunity to come into contact with unique worlds - human personalities. To do this you need very little... to be able to open yourself to another person. So, you need to “learn” the techniques successful communication.
There is a well-known statement by K. Morley, in which he wittily noted that “there is only one way to become a good conversationalist - this is ... to be able to listen.”
This statement contains one of the secrets of successful communication that we will get to know today.
Any experience gained through experiencing a situation seems more valuable than if you were simply told about it.
Exercise 1.
Goal: to create conditions for awareness and understanding of the need to “listen” and “see” the interlocutor in the process of communication.
Instructions. I will ask you in pairs, as you sit, to turn your back to each other. Decide who is the first interlocutor, who is the second. First interlocutor - Now you are within 30 seconds. tell your partner about your life, what you imagine in 3 years - when you finish school, choose a field of activity for yourself. The second interlocutor listens. On my command, you will switch roles. Switch roles. We're done.
Turn to face each other. Now you will need within 30 seconds. Exchange the information you heard from your interlocutor. The second interlocutor begins. On my command, you will switch roles.
Compare the volume and content of what you said with the volume and content of what was heard about you.
There will be those who have misrepresented information.
What do you think prevented your interlocutor from hearing you and reproducing the information in full?
Haven't seen your partner
What else got in the way?
There was no goal to remember and reproduce, “I just listened.”
So you didn't make a conscious effort to hear the sound, understand it and remember it?
In Webster's Dictionary, “listen” means “to make a conscious effort to hear a sound” or “to pay attention to it.” Essentially, “hearing” means. physically perceive sounds of a certain meaning.
Speaking and writing a diagram.
From this alone it is clear that listening is more than hearing.
- This is another rule of effective communication.
Listen to your interlocutor or in other words, show interest in what he is talking about. A certain philosopher once said: “Two can speak the truth - one speaks, the other listens.”
And in order to want to listen, you need to be imbued with the feelings of your interlocutor, that is, show
- Empathy- this is another rule.
Before you formulate the next rule of effective communication, I offer you one more small exercise.
Exercise “find yourself a mate.”
Now each of you will receive a piece of paper on which there will be a word denoting an object. You will read, remember and put the piece of paper in your pocket. Without saying a word, only using non-verbal means of communication: gestures and facial expressions, you should find several more participants who had the same word. When you are grouped, I will ask you not to talk. The exercise will end as soon as all participants decide which group they are in. You have 2 minutes to work.
The guys are divided into 4 groups and sit in groups.
What conclusion can be drawn based on the experience gained?
Can you name the next rule?
- Consider the language of postures and gestures.
- Feedback is important – verbally, that is, words!
To make sure we are understood.
There are certain reference phrases for implementation feedback in dialogue.
HANGING SUPPORTING PHRASES ON THE BOARD
"Did I understand you correctly …"
“I heard you correctly that...”
“Let me clarify...”, etc.
Look at what rules you have already formulated, what else in your opinion may be important in communication?
- Do not evaluate your interlocutor
- Don't interrupt
You have gained an understanding of the rules of interaction, which in communication psychology are called the rule of active listening.
Are the conclusions we have reached today completely new to you?
I am glad that you have built your knowledge into a certain system, enriched your experience, etc.
The most interesting thing about knowledge is that it is useful in life. Active listening and interpersonal communication can be learned through training. And I invite you to apply this knowledge in specific situations.
You will work in groups, each group receives a task (Appendix 1) - based on the situation, create a dialogue taking into account the knowledge gained. You are given 3 minutes to work in groups, 1 minute to present a dialogue. (Appendices 2,
Presentation of the results of work in groups.
What difficulties have you encountered?
In your opinion, which group was able to optimally apply the rules of effective communication - active listening?
Discussion
Let's return to our statement.
Based on today's experience, how would you complete this sentence?
1) Write your options on a piece of paper.
HANGING ANSWER OPTIONS ON THE BOARD
2) I WRITE THEIR OPTIONS IN THE COLUMN UNDER THE STATEMENT
In the original this statement goes like this: “There is only one way to become a good communicator - to be a good listener”. You were right in your answers.
Three-quarters of human communication consists of speech. Yet verbal messages are easily forgotten, and failure to listen can be costly.
The teacher distributes a handout for effective communication to each participant. (Appendix 6).
Thank you for the lesson. You were pleasant interlocutors for me.
Today, in the age of developed information technologies, popularization social networks and virtual communication, we often have to deal with the inability of people to communicate with each other in real life. Not everyone is able to carry on any conversation or become an interesting and worthy interlocutor; for some, this is very difficult. But not everything is so hopeless. It turns out that this can be learned. So, how to learn to communicate with people?
Communication can be called successful if a common language with the interlocutor is found. Absolutely anyone can have difficulties in communication, and education and wealth do not play a role here inner world, sense of humor, erudition, etc.
It's more of a psychological barrier.
What does it take to make communication interesting and entertaining? How can you create an irresistible desire in your interlocutor to continue? In general, how to become a person with whom it will be interesting to communicate?
How to arouse interest on the part of your interlocutor
Each person is individual. We are all endowed with some qualities that are unique to us. Everyone has their own goals, views on life, principles and priorities. It is absolutely normal for everyone to want to feel some kind of significance in society. It is this desire that is the main key to success and good luck in communication.In order for communication to be called successful, it is enough to show concern for what your interlocutor says. The ability to carry on a conversation, be interested in the thoughts and opinions of your interlocutor, the ability to listen carefully, be sincere and friendly in a conversation, perhaps this is what will help you learn to communicate with people. It is not for nothing that they say that the ability to listen and hear an interlocutor is valued much higher than the ability to speak. Not everyone has the ability to listen, and even fewer people have the ability to hear.
This does not mean that when meeting you need to attack your interlocutor as if he were an old friend. Not everyone will like this, and it may even scare you away.
Be very careful in your judgments; they should not be categorically indisputable. The last word leave it better for the interlocutor than for yourself. If you wish to produce pleasant impression at your interlocutor, give in to him in the argument: the relationship will not deteriorate, and you will remain unconvinced.
Do not show arrogance in any conversation. When speaking, weigh every word. you must understand that an arrogant tone, a desire to elevate yourself above your opponent can greatly offend him, and then his opinion of you will not be the best, and he is unlikely to have a desire to communicate with you again.
Try never to remain on the sidelines, be closer to people. Each person will be much more pleasant to communicate with someone who is on the same wavelength with him, so hiding in a corner will not be the best solution. 
What you should pay attention to
If possible, avoid conversations that contain complaints about your superiors, work colleagues, work in general, or your fate. Remember that everyone has enough problems without you, so no one wants to listen to other people’s problems. People communicate for fun.An important psychological point in a conversation is the posture in which you and your interlocutor are. It has been proven that by adopting the pose of your interlocutor, you thereby open him up to communication and create comfortable conditions for him.
When speaking, try to always remain yourself. Unnaturalness in communication, the desire to show yourself as a completely different person from the outside can look very funny and ridiculous, although it may seem to you that you fit into this image perfectly. In any case, you won’t be able to play for a long time, and sooner or later people will find out what you really are like. So why splurge and deceive your interlocutor already at the initial stages of communication. Naturalness and ease are the basic rules of behavior in communication.
Often, certain complexes of a person serve as an obstacle to normal communication. It is always worth remembering that no one is perfect. Everyone also has their own pros and cons, advantages and disadvantages, however, this does not prevent them from communicating well and being the life of the party. If you yourself feel good and confident when communicating, those around you will definitely notice and appreciate it.
It is very important to look your interlocutor in the eyes when communicating. A person who averts his eyes to the side during a conversation is unlikely to inspire confidence in his opponent. By doing this, you will either show how uninterested you are in what the other person is saying, or what a dishonest person you are. It seems like nothing special, but still this is a very important moment in communication, which can attract conversation or, on the contrary, repel.
If you don’t know a person well, once you know his name, try to repeat it during a conversation and call him by name. This will be a very polite sign on your part.
Probably everyone has found themselves in a situation where there is a not very pleasant pause between a conversation. To avoid such an awkward moment in communication, you should forget about short answers like “yes” and “no”. Answer your opponent’s question as fully as possible and also ask questions that require a more detailed answer. This way your conversation will flow on its own. But don’t overdo it here either. Communication should not turn into an attack with questions. The interlocutor should feel comfortable, and not as if he is under interrogation and simply forced to answer.
Learn to correctly express your thoughts and ideas, adapt them to others’ perceptions. Remember that not everyone has exactly the same image in their head as you do while telling a story. To do this, try to convey to your interlocutor the image that arose in your mind, provide information more clearly, and explain everything that is necessary.
Don't rush to answer questions right away. A pause will help you not only collect your thoughts and think about the answer, but will also show interest and mystery on the part of the person with whom you are talking.
Excessive gestures in communication can prompt the interlocutor to think about your lack of self-confidence. Extraneous hand movements can greatly distract from the essence of the conversation, while no one will appreciate the importance of your words; they simply will not pay attention to them.
Avoid using words and phrases with ambiguous connotations. Your words may be interpreted incorrectly and may even offend your interlocutor. Be clear about what you mean.
Not everyone can adapt to their interlocutor. This is enough important point in communication. Observe your opponent, the pace of his speech, and try to repeat it as much as possible. Communicating in the same manner will turn your conversation into a constructive conversation.
By the way, even in a business conversation, sometimes it will be appropriate to demonstrate your sense of humor. If you apply it in a timely manner, you can defuse a tense situation and make communication easier.
When communicating, consider the age of your interlocutor. Let's say the conversation is with a person who is much older than you. Here, accordingly, you should avoid slang expressions that may be completely unfamiliar to your interlocutor.
Let's sum it up
Of course, the main teacher is experience, which does not come immediately. To obtain it you need time and appropriate conditions. The main thing is to be as self-confident as possible, to be able to “carry” yourself, to position yourself in society. Expand your social circle to include absolutely different people: both by age, and by views, and by life positions.Any communication starts small. Thanks to some communication skills, you will be able to become an authoritative person in your circles, to whom everyone will listen with interest. It is not for nothing that it is said that self-love gives rise to the love of others for you. Only when you begin to respect yourself will others begin to do the same towards you.
The ability to communicate will definitely lead you to success. Communication skills are essential in everyday life. Never be afraid to step out of the shadows and be the first to communicate. Be polite and friendly, and then you will be able to win sympathy from your interlocutor. Good luck and success.
