What is psychological pressure and how to resist it in life and at work?
For the five hundredth time, are you reproaching yourself for succumbing to yet another provocation and getting hurt? Because in five years you still haven’t gotten out of the role of errand girl and errand boy? For the fact that you were going to do one thing, and now, thanks to pressure from a colleague, you are again doing something incomprehensible? Know that they are influencing you.
What is psychological pressure on a person?
People are not able to coexist peacefully: if they do not fight with machine guns for the sake of “oil, sea, snow,” then they organize psychological wars. Moreover, it is not known which is worse - in America alone, victims of moral bullying at work commit suicide more often than for any other reasons. And therefore, just as physically, many boys and girls specifically attend combat self-defense courses, and socially, it is simply vital for everyone to learn how to resist psychological pressure - this is possible.
Because: “No one is capable of offending you without your consent” E. Roosevelt.
It’s bitter, but true - if they can put psychological pressure on us, it means we ourselves allowed it. And even if you are threatened, always remember, an empty barrel rattles loudly, and a dog that barks is not yet ready to bite. Usually, real criminals do not make threats - they quickly get to the point, and if they make threats, it means they are trying to come to an agreement with you. But if you have to withstand psychological pressure, but there will be no reprisals for refusing, you can safely resist the manipulators.
How to overcome psychological pressure at work
But the situation is more complicated. The most unpleasant thing that can happen during career growth- this is an office one. Those. psychological pressure on a person (most often a newcomer) in order to force him to write a letter of resignation. This is what many companies do with pregnant women who don’t want to pay maternity benefits, this is what they do with new employees the team doesn’t like, and this is what they do with those who don’t behave correctly. But the methods are mostly the same: insults, frame-ups, reporting false information to superiors, complete ignorance, and much more.
Here it is already useless to try to wage war or attack the aggressors in response - if a scandal breaks out, the boss is unlikely to sort out the squabbles: who is right and who is wrong. That is why in most foreign companies in such situations they fire two people at once - without understanding the situation. But in Russia there is no such practice yet, and therefore you will have to act alone.
So, in order to resist psychological pressure at work, first you need to determine who from the team is most respected by management, whose opinion is trusted - and establish relationships with them good relationship. After all, not everyone is capable of mobbing - still, some part of the team is simply silent, while others sympathize in their hearts, but do not express their doubts openly. These are the people you need to establish a good connection with first of all: joint dinners, projects, evenings. And gradually your circle of friends will expand (if you are good man), until two or three main offenders remain on the sidelines. And without the support of the crowd, they won't last long.
It’s worse if the boss himself is involved in mobbing. For example, to remove a person from a position. Then, if you want to fight, and your nerves are strong enough, the right way is to pretend to be a “hose.” Those. pretend that you don’t understand why there are suddenly so many complaints against you, because everything was fine before - don’t reveal until the very end that you understand that they are simply surviving you. And not every boss is able to tell a person “go away” to his face if he is not guilty of anything. And such “inhibition” of the subordinate confuses him. You simply refuse to play his game, and not everyone has the courage to call a spade a spade. As a result, there is a possibility that they will leave you alone and take care of a more “savvy” subordinate.
How to fight back against a professional manipulator
But what’s easiest is to fight back against a real manipulator. Amazing, isn't it? Of course, for a person not familiar with psychology, this is almost impossible to do. But here we will reveal the secrets.
So, any manipulation - complex or simplified - is always based on the principle S => R, which means “stimulus leads to response.” And the entire psychology of a manipulator when putting pressure on a person is based on knowledge of typical reactions of people to certain stimuli. And they manipulate these reactions, quietly forcing a person to do something against his own will. Resisting such influence is not as difficult as it seems - the main thing is to do it correctly: not to give the reaction that is expected - intentionally. Those. if they try to make you cry, laugh or joke. If they make jokes, get angry. If someone is being slandered, abruptly abandon the conversation. And without the necessary strings to pull, the manipulator will not be able to do anything - this is an excellent defense against psychological pressure and emotional attack.
Study psychology, develop as a person, learn to give psychological resistance - these are invaluable skills in our world.
When we hear the word “violence,” we first of all imagine an aggressive person using force against a weaker person. However, violence can manifest itself not only in the form of physical aggression, but also in the form of psychological pressure and coercion. And many psychologists are confident that emotional and verbal violence is much more dangerous for a person than physical violence, since it cripples not the body, but the psyche and. A person who is regularly subjected to psychological violence gradually loses self-confidence and his “I” and begins to live with the desires and attitudes of the aggressor, making efforts to achieve his goals.
Signs and types of psychological violence
Psychological violence, unlike physical violence, is not always obvious, since it can manifest itself not only in the form of screaming, swearing and insults, but also in the form of subtle manipulation of a person’s emotions and feelings. In most cases, the goal of someone who uses psychological violence is to force the victim to change his behavior, opinion, decision and act as the manipulative aggressor wants. However, it should be noted that there is a separate category of people who use psychological violence and pressure in order to mentally break the victim and make him completely dependent on his will. To achieve their goal, aggressors use the following types of psychological violence:
Protection from psychological violence
People who succumb most easily to psychological pressure are those who do not have strong personal boundaries and do not know how to defend their own rights. Therefore, in order to protect yourself from psychological violence, you must first of all define for yourself your rights and responsibilities in each area of life. Next, you need to act according to the situation, depending on what type of psychological violence the aggressor uses.
Confronting those who like to command
When faced with someone who likes to command and give orders, you need to ask yourself two questions: “Am I obligated to follow this person’s orders?” and “What will happen if I don’t do what he asks?” If the answers to these questions are “No” and “Nothing bad for me,” then the self-proclaimed commander needs to be put in his place with a phrase like this: “Why are you telling me what to do? It is not my responsibility to carry out your orders." Further orders and commands should simply be ignored.
Practical example: Employees A and B work in the same office in the same positions. Employee A regularly shifts part of his responsibilities to employee B without providing any counter services in return. In this case, confrontation with the aggressor will look like this:
A: You are just printing something, well, print out my report, and then put it in a folder and take it to the accounting department.
B: Am I working here as your secretary? My job responsibilities do not include printing your documents and delivering them anywhere. I have a lot of work to do, so do your report yourself and don’t distract me from my work, please.
Protection from verbal aggression
The goal is to make the victim embarrassed, upset, stressed, start making excuses, etc. Therefore best protection from verbal aggression - not to live up to the expectations of the aggressor and to react in a completely different way than he expects: to joke, remain indifferent or feel sorry for the offender. Also an effective way to protect against such psychological violence is the developed famous psychologist M. Litvak method “psychological aikido”. The essence of this method is to apply it in any conflict situations amortization - smoothing out the conflict by agreeing with all the statements of the aggressor (like a psychiatrist agrees with everything that the patient tells him).
Practical example: The husband calls and tries to humiliate his wife every time he is in a bad mood. Protection from psychological violence in this case may be as follows:
M: You don’t know how to do anything at all! You are a disgusting housewife, you can’t even clean the house properly, there’s a feather lying under the sofa over there!
Zh: Yes, I’m so incompetent, it’s so hard for you with me! Surely you can do better cleaning than me, so I will be grateful if next time you help me clean the house.
Confronting being ignored
It is important to remember that deliberate ignoring is always manipulation, so you should not succumb to the pressure of the manipulator and try to appease him so that he changes his anger to mercy. A person who is inclined to constantly be offended and “ignore” in response to any actions that do not suit him needs to be made clear that playing silent is his right, but he will not achieve anything with his behavior.
Practical example: Two sisters live in the same apartment separately from their parents. The younger sister (M) has been accustomed to manipulating her older sister (S) since childhood. In cases where M doesn’t like something, she begins to deliberately ignore S and triple her boycott. Resistance to psychological pressure in such cases is as follows:
S: In a week I’m leaving on a business trip for two months.
S: This business trip is important for my career. And nothing will happen to you in these two months. You don't small child– you’ll find something to entertain yourself with.
M: So that means? Then you are no longer my sister and I won’t talk to you!
Resisting psychological pressure from feelings of duty or guilt
Strong personal boundaries are reliable protection from pressure on feelings of guilt and debt. Knowing the boundaries of his rights and responsibilities, a person will always be able to determine what is not part of his responsibilities. And if a person notices that his boundaries are being violated, he should directly inform the aggressor about the limits of his responsibilities and duties and make it clear that the manipulation has failed.
Practical example: A single mother (M) is trying to prohibit her adult daughter from leaving to work in another city, putting pressure on her sense of duty. The response in this case could be like this:
M: How can you leave me alone? I raised you, educated you, and now you want to leave? Children should be a support for their parents in old age, and you are abandoning me!
D: I’m not leaving you - I’ll call you, come to visit you and help you with money. Or do you want me to lose the opportunity to get a well-paid job and not be able to fulfill my dreams?
M: What are you saying? Of course, I want the best for you, but I will feel bad without you!
D: Mom, you are an adult, and I believe that you can find a lot for yourself interesting activities. I promise that I will call you regularly and visit you often.
Stand up to bullying
When you hear from a friend, relative or colleague phrases with the meaning “if you don’t do something, then misfortune will happen in your life” or “if you don’t change your behavior, then I will do something bad for you,” you need to ask yourself a question whether the threat is real. In cases where the intimidation or threats have no basis in reality, the blackmailer can be asked to carry out his threat right now. If your life, health or well-being and you are sure that he can carry out the threat, then it is best to record his words on a voice recorder or video camera and then contact the police.
Practical example: Employee A has not done his part on the project and is trying to intimidate Employee B into doing his job. Here's how you can resist pressure in such cases:
A: Why are you going to leave if the project is not finished yet? If we don't finish today, the boss will fire you. Do you want to be unemployed?
Q: I've done my part. I don't think I'll get fired for not doing your job.
A: The boss doesn’t care who does what. He needs results. So help me if you don't want to get kicked out.
Q: What do you think? Why wait until tomorrow? Let's go to the boss right now and ask him to fire me because I refuse to do your part of the duties.
Many people are aware that psychological abuse is being used against them, but they do not dare fight back for fear of ruining their relationship with someone who likes to command, manipulate, or abuse. In such cases, you need to decide for yourself why such relationships are valuable and whether it is better not to communicate with an aggressive person at all than to regularly endure his insults and act to the detriment of yourself, succumbing to his blackmail and manipulation.
Direct psychological impact on a person is coercion. By force in this case, physical strength, power, information or money come into play. It is quite difficult to resist this type of pressure, because... it is very aggressive and overt.The second type of aggressive pressure is humiliation. In such a situation, they will influence you morally, humiliate your dignity, and put pressure on your self-doubt.
Obsession - this type of psychological pressure is based on attempts to torment you. The person will influence you, but as soon as you try to clarify the situation, he will move on to unrelated topics. And when you relax, it will return to its original position.
A manipulator who uses the method of suggestion is most often an authority figure for the victim. The extreme degree of suggestion is hypnotic influence. In this case, a person is practically unable to resist the aggressor.
The most rational way of psychological pressure is persuasion. The manipulator will encourage you to listen to logic and appeal to reason. People with developed thinking and normal level intelligence, because less intelligent individuals simply will not understand the logical chains of the manipulator.
How to resist psychological influence
First, find out the true goals of the manipulator and start doing the opposite. Do this carefully so that the enemy does not understand that you are doing this on purpose - attribute mistakes to misunderstanding or other problems. Most likely, the manipulator will leave you alone and look for a more “understanding” victim.Learn to defend your point of view - this is necessary to gain respect in society. Most often, smart, but non-conflict and gentle people suffer from psychological pressure. Work on your self-confidence, remember that you have the right to your personal opinion.
If you notice that they are trying to influence you, try to remain calm - this is the first rule of invulnerability. The manipulator, having failed to penetrate your “armor,” will most likely retreat.
In conversation, try to be guided by your common sense. The manipulator can present arguments that seem quite logical, but this is his own “truth.” Try to look at everything from your point of view.
Effective methods avoid pressure - ignoring and refusal. Firmly refuse all the efforts of the manipulator, and you will quickly cease to interest him.
Not every person is ready to admit to himself that he is easy to manage; the main thing is to choose the right motivation and methods of psychological pressure, let's talk about how to resist psychological pressure: methods. What might influence your decision? You head to your boss with the firm intention of proving that you are right, but 15 minutes pass and you get back to work, unconditionally following the boss’s instructions. Or after a serious scandal with your husband, you begin to fulfill his demands. Finding themselves in such a situation, only a few are able to understand that they have been subjected to psychological pressure.
Methods of psychological pressure
1. Guilt, or no one is perfect
It is almost impossible to become ideal, perfect in everything. Quite often, we blame ourselves for this, try to find an excuse and fall into a depressive state. The manipulator skillfully uses the feeling of guilt, so you can create an excellent object for manipulation, and exerting psychological pressure becomes several times easier. You can blame a person for anything, but the most vulnerable areas are selected, which mainly affect only personal qualities. How to resist psychological pressure in this case? You must understand that you do not owe anything to anyone and do not owe anything. Every person has the right to be himself, regardless of his type of character, manners or behavior. You can agree with the manipulator, but in the end answer “no”, the manipulator will be in a stupor, he definitely does not expect this.
2. Rhetorical questions
One of the most commonly used methods of psychological pressure is rhetorical questions. For example, “Before you say something, do you think?”, “You understand that you let us down?”, “How can I call you a friend after this?” To resist psychological pressure of this kind, you can enter into an argument with your interlocutor, but do not forget that your decision and opinion is a priority for you.
3. Humiliation
Exerting psychological pressure of this kind is the lot of aggressive people who have failed to achieve their life goals. For example, at an important meeting, someone starts discussing your appearance or social status, you unwittingly become a listener to this conversation. As a result, you are distracted from the essence of your speech. This way you can fail important negotiations or purchase an unnecessary product. in this situation? To avoid a big deal falling through, it is advisable to concentrate all your attention on discussing your topic. Don’t try to please everyone at once, and don’t be provoked by a manipulator. As a last resort, you can ask the manipulator what is bothering him?
4. Mass psychological attack
This method of psychological pressure is used by both bandits and ordinary people. Its essence is to involve strangers in a conversation to obtain a positive result. This can be expressed in the form of calls to colleagues, friends or relatives. As a result, a person does everything to get rid of such increased attention in his direction. To deal with this kind of pressure, explain to everyone that this problem does not concern you.
5. Threat as manipulation
This manipulation is used after some crisis. For example, not long ago you had financial difficulties. Most effective way- start threatening you. As a rule, behind such threats lies a desire to resolve the conflict peacefully. To resist psychological pressure of this type, try to ignore the manipulator while doing your usual things. If the situation becomes uncontrollable, you can try to solve it in more reasonable ways.
How to resist psychological pressure
There are simple techniques, which allow you to confidently resist pressure and manipulation:
1. Closed poses. Cross your legs or arms to block negative information.
2. Natural obstacles. Place any object in front of yourself and your opponent.
3. Mental obstacles. Mentally place a high wall in front of yourself and your opponent or put on a spacesuit.
4. Take your opponent out of his character. Imagine a competitor in some non- in the usual form, for example, in a funny suit or naked.
5. Distracted attention. Your task is to prevent your opponent from concentrating. This can be done using different methods: decorations, beautiful clothes, glossy magazines.
How to resist psychological pressure: methods - first of all, watch your actions and do not lose your mind, be confident in yourself, and do not show your opponent your anxiety and weaknesses.
Do you feel like you are often under psychological pressure? If you are a calm and confident person, then you will probably want to answer that you practically do not encounter this. But in vain! Methods of influence can be completely different, and often the “victim” does not even understand that he has just been pressured.
But it has a huge impact on your life! If you don’t want to fall into this trap anymore, read our article and use the knowledge for psychological self-defense.
Types of psychological pressure
Psychological pressure is the influence on other people, carried out with the aim of changing their psychological attitudes, opinions, judgments and decisions. It may seem that only strong and result-oriented people resort to it, but this is not so. A confident person will act directly and openly, and not look for workarounds, causing inconvenience to others. There are many types of psychological pressure that you have probably encountered in your life:
1. Compulsion- this is a direct, overt influence on another person
They resort to it only when there is some kind of force, otherwise no one will succumb. Examples of such power can be physical qualities, power, money, information. A person who is forced to do something knows about the process that is taking place - as opposed to manipulation. You can try to protect yourself from him by hinting to the “oppressor” that he is acting aggressively - some people do not like to admit this. However, if this does not bother a person, then resist this species pressure is very difficult.
2. Humiliation
Another type of psychological pressure, expressed in the aggressor’s desire to morally “crush the victim.” In this situation, you may hear a lot of unpleasant things about yourself: you are stupid, scary, clumsy, untalented, disorganized, etc. ... Being in a state of psychological prostration, you lose control over the situation, and at this moment it is very convenient to put pressure on you: “At least can you do this?” The idea is that in a sober mind, you would never agree to anything, but then personal defense mechanisms and the desire to prove your own worth come into play. By the way, this technique works solely due to self-doubt.
3. Stepping aside
This type of psychological pressure stands apart from all others, since its essence lies in attempts to starve you out. Simply put, when they try to put pressure on you, and you want to clarify this, the person begins to slip into unrelated topics or even goes into “sheer defense”: “Well, what are you doing, huh?” Or asks why you always say nasty things about him. In this case, it is necessary to track the moment of leaving each time and return to the starting point: “No, we’ll deal with me later, we’re talking about you now.” If you are persistent, then there is a chance that the aggressor will lag behind you with his pressure.
4. Suggestion- this is the type after which he begins to uncritically “swallow” information imposed on him from the outside
The person using this method must be an authority for his victim, otherwise the trick will not work. An extreme version of suggestion is hypnosis, but it can also be used in a waking state. For this, as a rule, games with voice, intonation and other semi-conscious moments are used. Paradoxically, there are people who are generally resistant to suggestion, and you are lucky if you are one of them.
5. Belief
The most rational type psychological pressure. It appeals to reason and human logic. That is why only people with a normal level of intelligence and development of thinking are subject to it - the rest simply will not understand what they are being told here. Speech that includes beliefs is usually as logical, consistent and demonstrative as possible - as soon as the victim’s consciousness catches the slightest inconsistency, the whole structure immediately collapses.
Oddly enough, it is much easier to resist psychological pressure than to apply it. The first step is to realize that you are being manipulated. You can see signs of the influence techniques described above in your partner’s behavior. Insistently drawing your attention to some aspects of the problem and ignoring others should also alert you, as should generous promises that raise reasonable doubt. In your state of manipulation, inexplicable sympathy for your partner, sharp fluctuations in feelings, feelings of lack of time, guilt, obligation may appear - all these things should be a signal that you are being manipulated.
Next, you should inform the interlocutor that he is “brought to clean water" You may question the appropriateness of the actions and decisions that he requires of you. Then offer your own version of interaction, which, first of all, will suit you.
Naturally, the manipulator will resist. In this case, it is useful to ask questions aimed at clarifying the situation: what does he mean when he talks about the problem, what objective conditions and limitations exist, what should be done to improve the situation, etc. ... Clarify why the manipulator chose you and right now - all this allows you to track what the aggressor prefers to “pressure”.
Well, the most useful thing is the banal “use your brain.” As already written above, the main task of the manipulator is to activate feelings, emotions, and irrational attitudes, because they are the ones who contribute to faith in the words of the aggressor. However, as soon as you get out of the state of compliance and soberly analyze the situation, everything changes dramatically. The urgency in resolving the issue disappears, and you no longer feel particularly guilty. Therefore, as soon as you think that you are being manipulated, start thinking hard. And always ask for time to think - this is what helps you step outside the situation and look at it objectively.
IN modern world It is very important to be able to deal with psychological pressure. We have practically abandoned weapons and the use of physical force; accordingly, the enemies have only such methods of influence. And in order to live happily, you need to be able to recognize them and protect yourself and your loved ones from such gross psychological interference.
